An Old Married Lady Already?
October 4, 2010 at 8:21 am | Posted in Spam | Leave a commentTags: AARP, Dining Out in Boston, Insults, Junk Mail, Manners, Old Married Lady, Retired, Rhymes With Father of the Bride, Spam, Wedding Planning, Weddings
I won’t even be hitched until this weekend, but already society has written me off as old married lady. Don’t believe me? I got this in the mail on Saturday:
AARP says I should be retired already... count me IN!
That’s right – apparently I now qualify for membership in the American Association of Retired Persons. Ummm… Yeah…
In my quest to always find the silver lining, I’ve decided to interpret this as a sign that I shouldn’t work anymore. Apparently it’s time to retire, and that sounds dreamy to me! Andrew, however, is less than taken with the idea, citing the reality of bills, saving for a down-payment on a house, supporting our future children (don’t get too excited yet, Mo, RWFOTB and mom-in-law Kathy: this is not our way of saying I’m preggers). He is clearly not seeing the bigger picture.
Another plus? I love early dinners and early bedtimes – I think I’d make a lively addition to the early bird special club, the news programs are too depressing these days to bother staying up past 10 p.m., and the modern marvel of “Digital Video Recording” (or whatever you kids are calling it these days) will ensure I can watch all my stories at a reasonable hour – like 8 p.m., when I treat myself to my nightly glass of warm milk.
And finally, the benefit that really sold me: senior discounts! Forget student rates (don’t judge, Andrew is a student again!), seniors have the discount market cornered! Restaurants, attractions – you name it, they can save! So count me in, AARP!
~Sarah
(but you can call me Mrs. Wilderrol, you rude little whipper-snapper)
Photo Phriday: Our Unhealthy Eating Plan
May 21, 2010 at 8:18 am | Posted in Photo Phriday | 4 CommentsTags: diet, dieting, Dining Out in Boston, Drive Through Diet, healthy food, KFC, Taco Bell, You Smell Like Lunch
When my bloggier half and I began our “healthy eating plan” (aka diet) back in February, we made a fairly egregious rookie mistake. It is almost embarrassing to admit this, but here goes: in our early dieting days, April and I decided to focus on fresh foods – fruits, veggies, whole grains and lean meats. Now, three months later, we are realizing how foolish that was, and how often we needlessly transformed into Mrs. Hoofington as a result.
You see, Andrew stumbled upon a new and, apparently, highly effective plan in a KFC/Taco Bell eatery. Waiting in line to order his favorite extra crispy chicken, biscuits, mashed potatoes, gravy and coleslaw, Andrew saw these signs and, like any good gumshoe, raced back to share his discovery of the “Drive Thru Diet.”
"Christine" lost weight at Taco Bell. Jerk.
Yes, it’s true: “Christine” lost 54 lbs. eating at fast food joints. And not only that, she lost the extra poundage without even having to expend enough calories to walk from the parking lot to the counter to place her order! She remained seated on her shrinking keister and simply rolled her car to the “drive-thru” area to obtain sustenance.
Aaaah, the wonders of modern science and fast food eateries!
I’ll take a gordita and a smaller pant size, please.
~Sarah
Photo Phriday: McNothing’s
April 30, 2010 at 3:25 pm | Posted in Around Boston, Photo Phriday | 7 CommentsTags: commuting, Dining Out in Boston, Loneliness, McDonalds, North Station, nutrition, You Smell Like Lunch
Think you’ve seen and heard everything there is to see and hear about my long, lonely commute? Guess again… There’s a McDonald’s in North Station that is, apparently, banned from actually serving anything. Check this out:
Apparently this McDonald's serves... nothing...?
So what, dear reader(s), do you think is on their menu?
~Sarah
April and Sarah Go on a Diet: Mythical Nourishment and Mortal Imaginations
March 24, 2010 at 9:04 am | Posted in Around Boston, In The Kitchen | 4 CommentsTags: Ambrosia, commuting, Diaper, dieting, Dining Out in Boston, Domino's, healthy food, nutrition, Pizza, spaghetti sauce
Other than hallucinations, crumb cravings and oat incidents, April and I have weathered our new “healthy eating plan” well, and have made it through week four without seriously injuring anyone.
Awesome...
During these long, calorie-deprived weeks, I’m fairly certain that our sense of smell has become much keener. Take, for example, our commute home yesterday: as we speed-walked (sped-walked? That can’t be right!) past the Domino’s in Boston’s West End, the scent of pizza wafted into our noses. We nearly stopped (pedestrian) traffic as we came to a screeching halt in front of the pizzeria… And yes, my boot CAN make screeching halts. The aroma of freshly baked dough tickled our noses as the sweet yet slightly acidic tomato sauce and salty, oily scent of melting cheese tantalized us. We gazed longingly toward the pizza shop that, just two months ago during P.D. (Pre-Diet, as that era is called), wouldn’t have given us pause, and wondered if heaven might smell just like that.
As we continued our commute, my erudite friend and I began discussing Ambrosia, sustenance of the Greek gods (and we may also have discussed the more plebeian version of ambrosia – the coconut, fruit cocktail and marshmallow “salad” that April craved when she was preggers but which turns my stomach… That’s not the point… You know how we get distracted… Focus, dear reader(s)).
We may even have expressed our hope that heaven includes an all you can eat gourmet cafeteria that specializes in pizza, chocolate cake, honey roasted peanut butter, milk shakes, nachos, ice cream, beer, cookies, spiced nuts, etc. (Are you there G-d? It’s me, Booty).
Anyway, the heightened sense of smell sounds like a delightful bonus to our slightly more svelte figures, right? Unfortunately our super-sensitive shmekkers also pick up the unpleasant scents, too. For example, walking through a certain neighborhood that shall be left unnamed (but rhymes with seekin’ thrill), we are occasionally accosted by a scent that can only be described as “fish diapers.” Yes, if baby fish ate other fish and wore diapers, that’s what it would smell like on garbage day on seekin’ thrill. Which seems to occur more than once a week. Shudder.
At least the fish diaper smell curbs our appetites!
Here’s to continued success – and nose plugs – in the D.D. (during diet) era!
~Sarah
Would you like water with that lemon?
February 17, 2010 at 9:24 am | Posted in Around Boston | 5 CommentsTags: Awkward dinner, Dining Out in Boston
Apparently Andrew and I attract weirdness when we go out to dinner. On a recent trip to Bertucci’s, I asked for water with lemon – a fairly common request – and our overly-enthusiastic server delivered! Boy did she deliver! In fact, the pictures below are of my water glass… and yes, that is half a lemon in there!
Would you like some water with that lemon?
While this experience doesn’t hold a candle to our Longhorn celebrity extravaganza, I thought it would be nice to share it with you anyway. After all, sharing means caring, and I do!
~Sarah
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