A Blogger Walks Into a Bar…

July 21, 2011 at 10:55 am | Posted in Around Boston, Office Humor | 7 Comments
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Yesterday I (half-jokingly) used one of the tackiest pick-up lines ever on my colleagues.  After a particularly stressful morning at Dark Water Fowl (aka our office), I returned to my desk to find a yumlicious Dunkin’ iced tea with lemon waiting for me.  To thank them for brightening my day, I may have posted an inappropriate message on facespace… something to the effect of heaven missing two angels since they were slummin’ it with me on Earth…

Oh Ralph Wiggum, be still my heart! I choo-choo-choose you, too!

We discussed (cough cough used cough cough) some of the zaniest pick-up lines we’d ever heard (and yes, I did tell them that if they were on the menu at the golden arches they’d be listed as the McGorgeous).

And then it occurred to me: I may be biased, but Factinis & Factomelettes readers are some of the most beautiful, social, in-demand people on this orbiting rock we call home, and I bet you all have some priceless lines to share!

So spill it, dear reader(s)!!  What are the funniest, most awkward, worst and kookiest pick-up lines someone has ever tried on you?

(Or, in some cases, that you’ve tried on someone else).

~ Sarah

April’s Early… And Philosophical

March 5, 2010 at 11:41 am | Posted in Misc. | 7 Comments
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I’m heading to Buffalo and Rochester this weekend to see The Other Sister and my parents and brother. Because I’m too cheap to take a cab to the train station, I had Mike drop me off at the train at 7 a.m. as usual, which meant that even though I met Sarah at North Station for an early-morning gabfest, I still got to the airport almost three hours before my flight is scheduled to depart. That fact alone is worth noting because, although I have flown countless times in the past few years (and out of the US Airways terminal in particular) and am thus quite familiar with TSA regulations, I am always that person who has to be escorted to the head of the screening line because her plane is about to take off.

Hoodles, I’m not used to having time to kill. I had a leisurely Dunkin’ Donuts breakfast pre-security (turkey sausage flatbread and small lite vanilla latte – delish!), slowly made my way through security, took the prerequisite potty break and meandered to my gate. And I still have over an hour.

So here I am, one of just a handful of people waiting for the plane, and I am definitely the annoying girl typing on her BlackBerry, jamming to tunes and texting on her phone. And I’m living the dream here with my feet on my carry-on and a great view of the hustle and bustle of Logan Airport. Watching the planes taxi and baggage handlers chuck bags on the trucks, I’m reminded of how my father used to take me to watch the planes land and take off when I was really little. This was way back when you could meet arrivals right at the gate. I loved to watch the planes and imagine where they were going and where they’d been.

Things have changed a lot since then. And by the way, I realize how old that makes me sound. I also remember when you could smoke in malls and get a meal (for free) on any flight. But that’s a story for another day. Even with full body scans, U.S. Marshalls and liquid restrictions (not to mention the delays, smaller cabins, astronomical prices and fee-based snacks), I still love to fly. I love the unlimited possibilities of hopping on a plane and just going somewhere, anywhere. I love the feeling of soaring above the clouds. And I love the whole no phones or BlackBerries rule. The horizon is one of the last bastions of solitude for me.

So as I prepare to embark on a weekend filled with hockey, family, old friends and good food (and PLEASE stop reminding me I’m on a diet! Everything in moderation is my mantra these days), I encourage you all to take some time this weekend to do something you truly love, be it off-key singing along with 80s Madonna, taking a walk on the beach, reading a trashy gossip rag or bedazzling your Snuggie.

~April

April, Do it with the Doughnut!

February 19, 2010 at 9:19 am | Posted in Around Boston | 7 Comments
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I actually yelled that in a crowd of people yesterday, and it wasn’t (too) weird! You see, one of our favorite chains turned 60 years young, and as up-and-coming bloggers, we were invited to its birthday celebration! When I say “invited” I mean that it was a public, no-invitation-needed event. Not the point.  

Anyway, April and I never miss a party with the promise of freebies, so we grabbed RWC and headed to Boston’s Copley Square to celebrate Dunkin’ Donuts’ birthday.  

I’ll be honest with you: the shindig did not disappoint. We partied with giant walking coffees who may or may not have man-handled (coffee-cup-handled?) April and RWC… simultaneously,  

April & RWC get coffee-cup-handled!

played pin the tail on the donkey (after which, a still-blindfolded April yelled “In your face” to passersby instead of Sarah),  

April & Sarah Play Pin the Tail on the Donkey... With Help!

sampled the new mocha coffee,  

Mmmmmmocha!

got pockets full of candy, posed with a big ol’ doughnut – hence my cry to do it (aka pose) with the doughnut,  

Doing it with the doughnut!

and even got free Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards.  

The only negative was that they ran out of plates and utensils for the huge doughnut-shaped cake.  

What was left of the cake...

Contrary to popular opinion, we Wilderrols can exercise self-control and didn’t join our fellow revelers in just grabbing hunks o’ cake and shoving them down our throats.  

And to top it all off, we didn’t get lost en route! Now that’s a lunch break.  

~Sarah 

How Sarah Starts Her Day

January 15, 2010 at 9:44 am | Posted in Around Boston | 2 Comments
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Running on Dunkin’ indeed! Some days the mere thought of a new beginning is all it takes to get a gal out of bed. Some days require an extra boost…
~April

Reader’s Mailbag: Holiday Decor

December 2, 2009 at 8:59 am | Posted in Around Boston | Leave a comment
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Dear Wilderrols,

That Elf on the Shelf was so creepy! Have you seen any other holiday decorations that are Factinis & Factomelettes worthy?

- T. Grinch

Dear T.G.,

Thanks for writing! We appreciate all feedback, even from literary misers and curmudgeons. We will keep our creepiness-radar on and report back. In the meantime, this sign isn’t exactly what we would call decor, but it’s in the holiday spirit, so it counts.

Yes, that is a creepy half-donut-smiling snowman. Why Rhymes-With-Clunkin-GoNuts* wouldn’t have added munchkins for eyes to take the bizarre-o-meter down a level is beyond us. But there you have it. Nothing says happy holidays like optically challenged snowmen!

~Sarah

*Note: Rhymes-With-Clunkin-GoNuts gift cards make excellent bribes… errr… holiday gifts for your favorite service people like mail carriers, bloggers, office cleaning crews, bloggers, teachers, bloggers, babysitters, bloggers… You get the drill! It’s a circle of life kinda thing.

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