PR Titans

August 31, 2009 at 1:17 pm | Posted in Office Humor, Spam | 2 Comments

You are reading an entry written by an accomplished individual. And not just any old accomplished individual, but one of the world’s most accomplished individuals. That’s right, I am being considered for inclusion in the “Who’s Who of Business Leaders and Professional Honors.”

Are you impressed? I am. I mean, just to be considered is an honor. Chris Jespersen (if that is his real name), the managing director of the publication, assures me that this honor is only shared among thousands of people worldwide. Not a handful. Not hundreds. Thousands. That’s exclusive enough for me.

Lest you be concerned about the high price of admission to such an elite group, I want you all to know that the application is free. And they will not charge me to be included, should I pass their undoubtedly high standards. Those standards, by the way, must be so high that they have already assessed my qualifications before even considering my inclusion. The application I was invited (no less than three times) to complete only wants my contact information. Clearly, they’ve done all the leg work. Which is good, because someone of my stature does not have time to fill out lengthy applications. That’s what my people are for. Or that’s what they would do, if I had any people. But I don’t. That’s the sign of a truly important person. I’m too important for people.

Now don’t get too excited – I’m not in for sure. Although I feel pretty good about this. It’s not like everyone has gotten this email. I’ve already started writing my acceptance speech, in which I don’t thank anyone because no one has put in the sweat and blood (I literally open a vein every time I write a pitch) that has gotten me this far.

Wait, what’s that, Sarah? You got this, too? And you were also called a “Titan of PR?” Everyone in PR gets these emails? That’s why they go to our junk folders? Hang on while I deflate my head…



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  1. April, I AM a Titan of PR – that ain't spam. P.S. Can I please have your autograph??

  2. Dear Ms. Wilderrol, My name is Ginny Graduate, and I am writing to you because I saw your name in the "Titan Book" and I would welcome the opportunity to speak with you about a career in Public Relations. I know that you are very busy, so please let me know who I should contact from your support team to schedule a few moments with you. Thank you again for inspiring me to pursue my dream of becoming the best darn PR executive in Johannesburg, Venasualia. The competition is stiff in my town, but I know I can do it!!Warm regards, Ginny

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