Intern Interviews

December 3, 2009 at 9:10 am | Posted in Office Humor | 2 Comments
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Someone thought it would be a good idea for Sarah and me to choose our office’s intern each semester. As difficult to believe as it may be, we can actually be quite professional when necessary. Our interviews consist of the typical questions: Why do you want to work here? What are your goals for this experience? What were the best and worst parts of your previous internships? That sort of thing. But here’s what we’d really like to ask:

Besides searching for an internship, what games of chance do you enjoy? Craps? Russian roulette? Because we’re looking for a third. After the “unpleasantness” this morning…

If you were going to hide a body, where would you do it? And how much dead weight can you carry on, say, a five-mile sprint through the woods and across streams? Hypothetically, of course.

When push comes to shove, would you really miss your parents?

Are you allowed to leave the country? Do you have a passport? How many?

How do you feel about committing felonies?

Which of the following makes you squeamish? Please select all that apply.
A. Blood
B. Bodily fluids
C. Needles
D. Puppies

How do you feel about growing a tail?

Do you have fingerprints? Can I borrow them?

Can we hold hands?

Do you consider personal space a necessity?

Known aliases? Unknown aliases?

If you were a breakfast cereal, would you prefer to end it all and plunge to a soggy, liquid grave in regular, Lactaid or soy milk, and why?

What would you consider an appropriate bribe?

Jazz hands or spirit fingers?

Are you opposed to sleeping your way to the top? Have you already slept your way to the bottom?

Do you have access to large quantities of lyme and fertilizer? Can you get some?

Would you be willing to perform surgery?
~April & Sarah

2 Comments »

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  1. Okay, now I'm thouroughly disturbed…. who says you can't do jazz hands and spirit fingers at the same time?

  2. I'm down with all of the above. AND I'm really social.


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