A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Liquor Store

February 10, 2010 at 11:28 am | Posted in Office Humor | 5 Comments

We didn’t find it.

I remember it like it was yesterday, although our escapade did, in fact, occur last Friday. Last week was an especially dull and dragging one, so we decided to have an impromptu happy hour with colleagues. Since I am what is known as a “beer snob,” I offered to grab some beverages of the adult variety from the packie (that’s the liquor store, for those of you who don’t live in a nanny state). I convinced Sarah to come with me by reminding her of our goal to increase our daily steps. In her defense, she not only asked me if I knew where was I was going but also asked if I was sure I didn’t need her to look up directions. I told her I had it under control. Sarah claims I gave her a withering death-glare so frightening she didn’t dare get directions just in case. And so, after asking Rhymes-With-Spyza where we might find the closest packie, we headed out.

Multiple times on our trek to where I honestly believed our destination lay, Sarah commented that there must be a closer store. And I swore up and down that I knew exactly where we were going and told her to relax and trust me.  Famous last words.

We got to the area I thought we were supposed to be in, but there was no liquor store.  Confused, Sarah called Rhymes-With-Spyza to determine the root of the problem.  And that problem was me.  Because I admittedly don’t know any street names, so when Rhymes-With-Spyza was giving me directions, I only listened to the landmarks.  And when she said our destination was between Finagle a Bagel and CVS, I thought I knew where to go.  And I did take us to a location between Finagle and CVS.  It was just the wrong Finagle-CVS combo.  Because apparently there are many areas in Boston that have both a Finagle and a CVS.  And that was news to me.

According to Sarah, the liquor store we were looking for was too far away from where we were, so I said I was sure there was one on the way back to the office.  And who would know better than the people at the pawn shop we happened to be standing in front of?  Well, either they aren’t big drinkers, or they have zero interest in helping two hapless ladies in search of a drink.  Because following their directions didn’t take us to a packie, either.  But we didn’t give up!  While we were looking for said packie, a man walked past us wheeling multiple cases of beer on a dolly.  He had be on his way to a liquor store, right?  So we stalked followed him.  And guess where he went?  An apartment building. Here he is:

But the mysterious beer deliverer did lead us past a wig store.  And that made me happy.  Because I’ve always wanted a wig.

And we also saw this guy:

We did find a place that seemed promising, but apparently they deal with a different kind of bar.  We took a picture anyway.

Unfortunately, we never did find the packie.  But we did have an adventure.  And Sarah learned some important lessons…

Lesson #1: Never rely on me for directions, even when I insist that I know where I’m going because I’ve been there a hundred times.  Remember what happened the last time I told Sarah I knew how to get somewhere? And it’s not like that’s the first time I ever got someone (or myself) lost.

Lesson #2: People at pawn shops are not trustworthy.



RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. Ha, ha, and double ha!

    You don’t need a wig – you need a hat!!! It’s cold out there! Specially on adventures of indeterminate length.

  2. So where were the infamous crackberries that are suppose to get you out of any jam? What happened when you got back to the office empty handed, or did you just go home? Were there no street bums anywhere that could have directed you the right way?

    PS. I love my subscription to the new and improved Factinis and Factomelettes because it comes right to my doorstep with no work involved, and we all know how much I dislike work (If you don’t just come on ova and Ill show ya how much!).

    • Well, Jill, it’s funny you should ask about the infamous crackberry. It was in my pocket. I forgot about the map function. I can’t be bothered with remembering things!

      And I love that you subscribe to our blog!

      • MoCo Village was quite sad to see no liquor when April & Sarah Wilderrol returned. But they did come baring two wonderful things……a bag of multigrain chips to go with our delightful artichoke dip and of course, this silly little story on their lost voyage!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: