April & Sarah Go on a Diet: Dr. Wilderrol and Mrs. Hoofington

March 2, 2010 at 1:30 pm | Posted in In The Kitchen, Misc. | 21 Comments
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As you may know, April and I started our “healthy eating plan” (aka diet, but that’s a taboo word these days) about a week ago and, as part of our commitment to keep it up, we will be updating you, our dear reader(s), on our progress every now and again. Day One wasn’t too bad, though it was a little confusing. Week One is, well, let’s just say it is more trying. Especially for those around us. Witness our normally joyful coffee break:

Even coffee cannot bring joy to a dieting Wilderrol...

You see, April and I have been a little grouchy lately*. So much so that we are starting to resemble that famous personality disordered-fellow of literary fame, Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Except we’re more like Dr. Wilderrol and Mrs. Hoofington…

Andrew and I once heard someone mispronounce the phrase “in a huff” as “in a hoof.” Apparently it stuck, and now whenever I’m less than patient and pleasant, he lovingly refers to me as Mrs. Hoofington. Shockingly, that little moniker doesn’t do much for talking me down off my emotional ledge! But I admit that occasionally the nickname is warranted. For example: April and I nearly came to blows over a piece of her oats and honey granola bar.

En route to our train after a particularly difficult day, our stomachs started talking. Truth be told, they were exchanging fighting words (grumbles?). And then it happened… we both noticed that April had a single oat stuck between her teeth from the oh-so-delicious granola bar she had eaten for afternoon snack. And that oat looked mighty tasty… She pried it out, held it up triumphantly and cried: “Snack time for me!” and then cackled like a crazed witch in a kid’s movie. As she started to put the delicate morsel on her tongue, I lunged. It was an out-of-body experience: my hunger drove me to violence! And April, well, April is pretty scrappy and she responded in kind.

Picture a scene from The Matrix (The Oat?) or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (Crunching Tiger Hidden Crumb?) – except instead of trained assassins and ninjas, it was two gals on a diet, and instead of some futuristic alternate reality or lush arboretum, we were standing on a busy thoroughfare in Boston’s West End. Yeah. Not our best day…

(Okay, so that may not have actually happened, but that’s exactly how we both played it out in our minds!)

Desperately Seeking Snacks,

*Don’t get us wrong, there have been other factors at play regarding our “baditudes”… but we’ll blame the diet!


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  1. oh my goodness–you both are absolutely funny! I came across your blog doing some tag surfing today, and it made me laugh. I love the way you put humor into your everyday experiences and relay them so candidly. Thank you for writing! And all the best to you both as you pursue greater health.

    • Bonnie, we’re so glad you stumbled upon us – and left a comment! As you know, we bloggers love comments 😉 We appreciate your feedback and support in our efforts to become healthier… and the fact that someone we’ve never met actually thinks we’re amusing 😉
      Keep blogging the good blog, Sarah & April

  2. My, you look like a couple of angry elfs. WWSS?

    • Big love for you, Rhymes-With-Shmom!!! I expect an Oscar any day now for our awesome acting 😉

    • Acting! Imagine I yelled that in my best Jon Lovitz voice. I think Santa would say get off the diet and start guzzling whole milk and cookies. I like it.

      • Hahah, I love your Jon Lovitz voice (almost as much as I love your Oprah voice… “She-naaaaa-nigans!”) Where can I find Santa’s stash o’ snacks?!?

        • The candy is on my desk. Oh, temptation!

  3. It sounds like you girls need a lunch date with Snarky!

    So exactly how many matching cups do you two own together?

    And yes, if you are wondering, I AM breaking the restraining order my boss has against you. These things happen when your in love, with a blog.

    • Snarky, you have NO idea how much we need a lunch date with you! As for the number of matchy-matchy cups, well, that’s top secret information, but I can reveal that our goal is to have mugs for every occasion.

      Concerning your boss: we’re proud of your rebellion! Stick it to the man! Admittedly, we’re kind of flattered that we’re on a banned blogs list!!!

    • Keep fighting the good fight, Snarky Love! We have two sets of matching cups. One for home, one for work. I’d happily grab a fiberrific salad with you any day!

      • Are you counting our sustainable BU mugs?

        • You just upped the number. I’ve lost count.

          • Do cups we may have (ahem) “borrowed” (ahem) from local establishments count? What about matchy-matchy “borrowed” utensils? And don’t forget our matchy-matchy coats!

  4. Hmmmm…acting…. I think back in the day, we referred to it as melodramatic. BTW, I’m only commenting as a means to acquiring a monster picture.

    • I’m not gonna lie to you, “Shmom,” you can really pull off the look 😉

      And we prefer the term “emotionally available.” Heheheh.

    • April- dramatic? Never!

  5. I recommend drinking nothing but factinis and eating nothing but factomlettes.

    • You buying?

      • I’m pretty sure Schl-ski’s and Schmapril’shusband’s job to buy. But I’ll happily fill in.

        • And why is there an evil-squid-apple with bunny ears by my comments?

          • Hahahah, good point, Jordy! I’ll remind the gentlemen of their duties soon- all the factinis and factomelettes I can handle sound pretty good to me!

            As for your evil-squid-apple with bunny ears, well, I guess that’s just what the monster inside you looks like. Word Press knows all our monster-identities…

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