Still Dieting

March 9, 2010 at 10:30 am | Posted in Office Humor | 10 Comments
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It is week three of our modified eating plan. But it feels like week 647. Tensions are running high. Yesterday I threw part of my granola bar at Sarah after what I interpreted to be a rather snide remark. Innocent bystander Rhymes-With-Cannon assures me it was innocuous. The bit of granola that I threw landed in Sarah’s ear. True story.* Then I tumbled into a black hole of despair when I realized that was my last granola bar. And Sarah gloated after retrieving said bit of granola. If I were like Drew Barrymore in “Firestarter,” Sarah would have spontaneously combusted.

Between hunger pains, carb and chocolate cravings and fiber grouchiness, we are slowly growing hostile. Oh, and someone — Schmargaret, I’m looking at you — thought my desk was the best location for a three-gallon bowl of mini candy bars. I can smell the sugar whenever someone rifles through the selection of delectable treats horrid love-handle makers.

On the plus side, we’re becoming more productive as our colleagues are growing frightened of us. And Sarah “backed herself into a new pair of pants,” according to RWC. Huzzah!

~April

10 Comments »

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  1. Ha! When are we going to see some of those side-by-side before and after bathing suit pics like they have in the back of fitness magazines?

    • LOL when I find the model who looks enough like me to pose as the “after” 😉

  2. Also, I love looking at your tag cloud and seeing that DIETING is getting almost as big as DUNKIN’ DONUTS

    • LOL it’s a sad state of affairs when Dunkin’ Donuts and Dieting compete in our tag cloud… but don’t discount Snuggie! Could come back with a vengeance 😉

      • PS Leah, we’ve missed seeing your monster avatar around these parts! Welcome back! Hope the boobs are doing well 🙂 (I’m not gross, see her blog post “Making the Breast of It” http://squibix.net/blog/?entry=1437)

        • Thanks Sarah! It’s a lot of work starting a new job! My free time dicking around the internet is really under siege!

          • I hope your new colleagues recognize they have blogging greatness among them and treat you accordingly. Like with free bagels in the conference room. WINK!

  3. You do know that 647 is a restaurant in the South End…guess you really do have food on the brain….and in Sarah’s ear….

    • I didn’t know that, but now I’d like to sample their fare… like, RIGHT NOW.
      I’m saving that ear morsel for my train-feast. Mmmm, snacktime!

    • Ooh, you caught me, Schmargaret!
      -April


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