Putting the Hot in Hotlanta

June 17, 2010 at 8:52 am | Posted in Office Humor | 6 Comments
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I dislike hot weather. I intensely dislike hot weather. I really really really intensely dislike hot weather. And yet, I find myself writing this blog post in mid-June from a city people affectionately refer to as “Hotlanta.” And those people who call it Hotlanta? They aren’t lying. It is soooooo hot and humid here. Yesterday just walking from the cab to the hotel felt like I was swimming in boiling pea soup.

I used to wonder why people here walked so slowly. I thought that perhaps it was just a problem of perception. You see, I walk quickly, even for a New Englander, so perhaps they walk at more normal speeds here and I just thought it was painfully slow compared to my high-speed hustle. Nope. They definitely walk slowly, but now I know why: it is too darn hot and humid to move any faster!

And I think I may have also discovered the key to their politeness… Getting angry takes energy, and when I’m mad, I feel warm. I get hot under the collar, steaming mad, hot-tempered, hot and bothered, have meltdowns, etc. Frankly, there is absolutely no need to make oneself any warmer here, so it just makes sense to stay calm, cool (relatively speaking) and collected. Southerners are pretty clever, it seems.

Anyway, I’m getting distracted. The heat must be slowly melting my brain. I’m writing this blog to ask for your advice. Today I will be outside for long stretches (oy vey!) and, since I’m on “official client business,” I can’t succumb to heat stroke. Any tips for staying cool, dear reader(s)?



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  1. Surely you have heard that old Scotland’s burning song…
    Pour on water!
    Pour on water!

  2. As a one time southerner, I never found a truly successful defense mechanism other than a day at the lake (probably not possible with client responsibilities 😦 ). Breathable fabrics and spending every last minute in air conditioning that you can are probably your only bets. Unless you want to get yourself a paper fan and start say “my word” in a Scarlet O’Hara accent.

  3. While I’m fairly certain I would sound like a fool saying “my word” every three minutes, that may be my only recourse. Sigh. And may I add: My word it is hot in Atlanta!

  4. As for the water suggestion, I done drank it already. Time to restock… and get more TP, too, since I’m either sweating and drinking water or I’m ahem – discharging – ahem said water 😉

  5. OK. Here’s the ultimate way to stay cool. Drinking lotsa water is a must – that’s been covered. Next eat hot and spicy foods. Think Indian, Mexican, Thai, spicy Chinese, good ol’ American hot sauce. Why? Cuz in those hot places, that is what is eaten. It increases metabolism, opens pores and allows you to sweat, which coupled with water consumption, will cool you. And a dip in the hotel pool after work will refresh you nicely. Got any hard questions?

    • When one’s brain has melted, everything is a hard question 😉

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