Welcome to Alabama, Y’all

July 19, 2010 at 10:41 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 46 Comments
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A few weeks ago my hubs-to-be and I traveled to Mobile, Alabama for a friend’s wedding. (You can tell how much we adore said friend because we voluntarily went to the miserably hot South in July, and you know how well I do in the heat). Whoodles, I packed the same way I would for a normal summer weekend/wedding getaway: shorts, t-shirts, bathing suit, little black dress, “going out” clothes, etc.  

The stylin' ladies of Mobile, Alabama!


But as soon as we arrived at the Mobile airport and saw the locals, I realized the error of my ways.  

I did not pack anything like this pastel-perfection (complete with parasol). I don’t even OWN anything like this! So I turned to some of my most trusted advisors for an explanation…  

  • My bloggier half asserted that they must be preparing to stand atop a gigantic Barbie Cake.
  • My super-stylish mom told me she hoped the *ahem* gowns came in black or dark grey so she could sport one come 10/10/10 – after all, pastels don’t really mesh well with my wedding color scheme.  She also decided to skip the umbrella (no need to show off, after all), and justified this extravagant purchase by saying she can wear this “unique” outfit to a number of functions this year…
  • My fab future mom-in-law is using this as a threat for her high school daughter: Behave or this will be your prom dress next year!
  • My MOH, Rhymes with Tzarina, told me I’d need more help explaining this “style” than she could provide, and implored me to turn to you, dear reader(s), for insight.


What’s your explanation?  



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  1. What else is a good southern girl to do when her curtains are pastel yellow or pastel purple. I mean, does she have a choice, really?

    • Excellent point, Brooke. I hadn’t considered a singing nanny who is into DIY outfits!

  2. There may have been a vendor mix-up here. Did the cake have an empire waist?

    • LOL – Erika, you slay me!

  3. These are young ladies sent to extend hospitality and offer assistance to visitors, although that point may be lost on those without tact, a modicum of intelligence or common sense.

  4. Look Sarah – I am just trying to help. You just need to realize that it is not OK to be prejudiced against people just because they have a different culture. You come off as a superficial, conceited bitch and I am sure you are not that way. Good luck.

    Doc Valso

    • Dear Doc Valso,

      With all due respect, let’s take a step back. This blog entry was completely tongue-in-cheek and in no way meant to be taken seriously. So before you start an all-out flame war, let’s converse as rational, respectful human beings.

      I imagine that, if you were to arrive in my fair state and saw gentlemen dressed as revolutionaries in neon roaming our airport, you might get a kick out of that – and frankly, I would, too! I wouldn’t, however, call you prejudiced for pointing out over-the-top outfits, nor would I accuse you of saying all New Englanders are still stuck on the British policy of taxation without representation because of your observation regarding a cute way to characterize our history.

      All the best,

      PS There is no need for name-calling, especially when you’re concerned about how other people will perceive us based upon what we post on our blogs.

      • Sarah – you are absolutely right. And we didn’t mean to call you a name – only to urge you to avoid that perception. A Mobile gentleman would never call a lady such a thing. But then again we are from New Orleans so that explains it. Regards.
        Mod Mobilian – please feel free to visit Mobile via our site as we feel we have made a new friend – 🙂

      • And while I have your attention, I’d appreciate it if you would approve/post my comment on your blog so that your readers can hear from this Yankee. Seems only fair.

        • Seriously? You won’t publish my tactful and polite response on your blog so your readers can get my opinion on the matter? Ouch, Doc.

  5. Oh, and don’t worry about that oil spill thing either – we can sense your concern.

    • Harsh and uncalled for, Doc.

      • OK Sarah – we will open up to you. We lived in the Northeast for a while and learned many people are biased against Southerners – no matter how nice or kind they might be. Southerners are the only people in the country who its OK to be rude and intolerant to. So we were deeply scarred and your post triggered a lot of deeply held hurt and sorrow. But that’s OK – we know you didn’t mean to.

        • Eeek – sounds like you’ve got some pretty deep wounds, Mod. I won’t let this experience wound me the same way so I don’t hold it against any future Southerners I meet (virtually or personally). I know you didn’t mean to, either 😉

  6. Sarah sweetie. Really, they are pastel perfection, aren’t they? Perhaps because I have enjoyed my Boston friends crass sense of humor I understand your witty charm. Clever girl, you noticed the parasols as well. The Azalea Trail Maids are darling southern ambassadors to those traveling to Mobile. Of course, there are those who wouldn’t understand that genteel graciousness and bless your heart, you are one of those unfortunate souls who will never get it. Oh and they also are intelligent young ladies who exemplify beauty, smarts, charity and are awarded more scholarships than you have readers. Plus they led me to read your blog, so look what they did for you.

    • Dear Kim:

      Azalea Trail Maids – thanks for the explanation. For our dear readers interested in learning more, here’s their website: http://www.mobileazaleatrail.com/

      Bumbling in Boston,

      • Doc Valso-
        I have lived in many parts of the country and have found both rude and polite people everywhere. Name calling on a blog obviously intended as amusing is obviously the former, and you are doing yourself no favors here. Also, bringing the oil spill into this conversation is incongruous and shows ignorance. The lady who wrote the original post obviously meant no harm and was, as intended, drawn to those ladies and curious about them. Please use your righteous indignation for a more worthy cause, and leave this poor young lady alone.
        Wishing you all the best of both Northern AND Southern kindness,
        -A reader

        • Wow, Stephanie – thank you! XO

        • Actually, I’m pretty sure the lady who wrote the original post meant plenty of harm. She always judges people based on appearance, and harshly if it is different than hers. I also am pretty sure she’s a communist. So, I say, go Doc Valso! Vote Palin!

          • Jordy – you’re such a trouble maker. Bad Texan! XO

    • Kim, dear, your sorry writing skills and lack of Southern charm prove you were never an Azalea Trail Maid. I fear those intelligent young ladies would be appalled to learn of the vitriol being spewed in their defense.

      • Funny. What a big word from April. Vitriol.
        People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. See, while my tongue in cheek reply to the tongue in cheek post was INTENDED to be funny, it was not taken that way by this April person… So to this I say- fahgettaboutit.
        The fact that a person has to criticize my awesome writing skills just shows how very little they have to say.
        Oh, no I surely was not an Azalea Trail maid. I was the girl beating up people who disagreed with me, so what was it you were saying? heehee
        “the whole world has taken crazy pills” from Zoolander.

  7. Glad to see this silly argument is quelled a bit! I think readers of this amazing blog should take it for what it is – humorous and a time to not take ourselves quite so seriously!! Sarah – keep at it! We here in San Diego love your blog!!!

    • Thank you, Lily!

  8. Wow – what an interesting exchange. A modicum of introspection and reflection would be helpful in this situation. I was hesitant to post in case it inflamed the situation further, but as a Northerner, who lived in the south for several years, I can say without question – I experienced the best of southern hospitality (I married a wonderful man born and raised in the deepest south) and the worst of it, too. I have absolutely had southerners judge me and “be prejudiced against” me just because I came “from a different culture.” I can say from personal experience that Southerners are NOT “the only people in the country who its OK to be rude and intolerant to,” as evidenced by the continued pejoritve use of the label “yankee.” In some of my weaker moments, I reacted similar to Doc, railing against the truly ignorant, the purely inquisitive, and the honestly tongue-and-cheek comments equally (this original post falling firmly in the last two catagories, I can assure you). As a person who is now a proud member of both a northern and a southern family, I have found the best approach is a sense of humor and a tendancy to give people the benefit of the doubt. The vast majority of comments are intended to highlight or make light of our cultural differences (I still do not understand why a button would be “mashed”). And the comments where malice is truly intended? The speakers that fall in to this category are already functioning from an illogical, ignorant and/or hateful position, and are unlikely to be swayed in their views based on any dialoug. With this perspective, I can love and accept my husband’s grandfather, who routinely tells him on our visits, “I don’t know if you should’ve married a yankee” (said with a look as though he has just smelled something unpleasant – in loving jest, of course!).

    And guess what? I’m part Canadian too. Southern grandpa says that makes me more acceptable :).

    • Thanks for your unique perspective, Brooke. You’re right – giving people the benefit of the doubt before reacting harshly is imperative to building relationships – as are maintaining a sense of humor and making the decision not to take ourselves too seriously. I’ll always be first in line to poke fun at myself 😉

      • We love your blog and your “crass” humor in the IL. Bless your heart (incidentally one of the cattiest phrase that I have ever heard in the 7 states I have lived in, and many southerners agree with me) and keep the funnies coming.

        • And we ❤ you and all our fans in the IL! Bless YOUR heart, Brooke (and I mean that in the least cattiest way possible ;))

  9. So apparently Doc Valso and other unmentioned commenters decided this blog was the first one they would read. Clearly they are not religious followers like myself, because if they were they would notice the trend of harmless humor which not only includes the bloggers close friends and family but also themselves.
    I read this blog like I do everyday (even though I can’t always comment as I would like to) and got a big chuckle and curious stares from co-workers, then I went home and read it with my man and we both had another laugh, and then we both read all the comments and decided to scroll back up to the picture again and get a few more chuckles in. Why? Because it is f-ing funny!

    • Preach it, sister! And thanks for the support, religious reading of our silly observations and your awesome comments 🙂

  10. As the friend (from the North) getting married in Mobile to my beautiful wife (from the South, specifically AL) I can with clear conscience tell Doc and Mod that Sarah was an excellent ambassador from the North while visiting for wedding. In fact both sides of the family and the Mason Dixon line loved her and her sense of humor.

    Further, I believe that people, either from the South or North, who are taking a humorous blog entitled “Factinis and Factomelettes” and treating it as if it were a major network news program need to take a serious introspective journey to discover how serious they really take themselves.

    Furthermore, bringing the oil spill into this conversation is pathetic. It is a blatant effort to grasp at straws (or perhaps your last shred of dignity)as evidenced further by your inability to actually answer anything that Sarah has written. Were you going to reference Katrina next? As a “Yankee”, am I allowed to pull out a 9/11 card? The oil spill is a terrible disaster and you my friend demeaned it for your own selfish end. If anyone should feel poorly about themselves for what they have written thus far I assure you that it is the man or woman or both (we?) who used a natural disaster in an attempt to garner sympathy for their own weak argument.

    “We lived in the Northeast for a while and learned many people are biased against Southerners – no matter how nice or kind they might be. Southerners are the only people in the country who its OK to be rude and intolerant to.” Really? Can you even be serious with this comment. I will call your ridicuously small subset (and mindset for that matter) with an even smaller subset from the South – one man. “Imagine having to take the [Number] 7 train to the ballpark, looking like you’re [riding through] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing.” That’s John Rocker on NYC. Yes he was reprimanded but guess what those small town views are not learned overnight. But, then again, Southerners are the only people in the country who get judged. What was I thinking.

    To each of you with such an arrogant and small minded view, I truly suggest you spend less time calling a close friend of mine a “bitch” and wasting your time posting these views on her blog and spend more time actually THINKING before typing.

    • Thank you, Justin! Despite the harsh reactions to my silly little blog post (I’m not all that important, people, and I’m the first to admit it!), I would gladly visit you and your lovely wife in Alabama (or anywhere – above OR below the Mason Dixon line) anytime! Your wedding weekend was the epitome of hospitality and gentility – not to mention friendship. XO

  11. Sarah, You’ve become infamous overnight!

    It seems that rudeness, like stupidity and prejudice are not reserved for any one culture or part of the country. I found your photo and comments both charming and amusing.
    You have a unique perspective on life and I, for one, appreciate that you share it with us.
    Keep up the good work!

    And your grammer is impeccable – unlike Doc’s.

    • Oh, Shmommy, you are too kind 🙂 Thank you!
      And for those of you wondering if I paid my mom to comment and reassure me, the answer is NO. This is April’s darling mother and she supports our creative endeavors and silly observations for free!

  12. the fact that so many of my fellow mobilians took your humorous post literally makes me cringe. dang people, have a mint julep and chill out.

    • Thank you! Maybe we can all have a mint julep together some day 🙂

    • Whoa, a Southerner (and a Mobilian to boot!) with a sense of humor! Strorg, Sarah and I would love to join you for a mint julep and a good laugh. And if you’re ever up in scary Yankee territory, I’ve got a frosty Sam Adams with your name on it.

      • Agreed! Cheers to you, Kim!

  13. I lived in Memphis for ten years and never saw such ridiculous outfits. Just goes to show the “Deep South” is quite a different animal from the “Mid South.”

    Sarah, I think you need some blogosphere bugspray to get some of these nasty pests out of your charming little garden. After all, the South may be known for its gardeners, but Massachusetts has the Mayflower! Ha, corny, I know.

    • LOL – good call, Doug!

  14. Wow, if I had known that insulting southern belles would be such a traffic-driver I would have tried it for myself years ago! Good job Sarah!

    • Not southern belles… just their outfits. Thanks for the response, Danny – you’re a riot!

  15. I would like to try a run for humor here, but I can’t.
    Doc, you are going after one of the kindest, sweetest, most caring young women I have had the pleasure to meet.
    Be careful that you are not reading her words as you might have written them instead as how she intended them.
    Sarah shares her world with us with humor…. I for one am eternally grateful, as the work I do is filled with sorrrow and some days Sarah’s little bursts of fun are what get me back on track.
    I can tell you from personal experience with this young lady that she has not even one prejudiced bone in her body – and I have known her all her life.
    You have a right to your opinions Doc, but my Mom taught me that a gentleman should never refer to a young lady by using swear words.
    And my Mom was from the North!

    • Thank you, Bunny. Your comment means the world to me! I appreciate that you’re trying to encourage Doc to view this post the way it was intended, but I fear it may fall on deaf ears. At least we tried!
      And your mom was quite a lady!!

  16. I just stumbled on this when looking up Mobile. To be quite honest, I’m more concerned about that horrendous carpeting in the airport!

    • Excellent point, Sally! I was so distracted by the taffeta I completely ignored the floor pattern!! Enjoy Mobile 🙂

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