I Called April the P-Word

November 4, 2010 at 11:33 am | Posted in Around Boston | 5 Comments
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Earlier this week I called April the “p-word.” She was confused, aghast, and denied it wholeheartedly, but I can’t help it: I think she’s rather “practical.”  Since we couldn’t come to an agreement, we’ve decided to turn to you, our dear reader(s).  We implore you to intervene and decide whether April is practical.  You’re the judge and jury, and we promise to respect your verdict.  Mostly.

Please examine the evidence:


This wasn't April's path to the altar...

Due to finances, April and her hubs had an intimate wedding on the beach with her sister officiating.

Practical: April didn’t overspend or celebrate beyond her means; although many couples incur large amounts of debt to put on a fabulous party, April had a small ceremony to mark the occasion.

Impractical: April missed the chance to celebrate with all her family and friends, and therefore missed out on the opportunity to receive super awesome gifts and money.

Grocery Adventures

April clips and uses coupons each week and makes a detailed grocery list.

Practical: She’s a money-saving machine in order to help bolster her family finances.

Impractical: April refers to this behavior as “cheap” and insists it isn’t “practical.”

Frivolous Purchases

Paris Hilton has nothing on April's shopping sprees...

Like most women, April claims that she “frequently purchases unnecessary things, and buys them on impulse even when she has a specific, detailed list.”

Impractical: April submitted the following examples to support the claim that she is impractical…

  • Glittery skull window clings for Halloween ($2)
  • Pumpkin Spice-flavored milk ($1.50)
  • And the last time she went to Kohl’s for slippers and a bathrobe, she also purchased socks, a book, shirt, hat and mittens for her son, and baking sheets.  She intended to spend $30 and ended up spending $90.

Practical: April didn’t go out and buy a new Gucci handbag, Prada shoes and a Burberry scarf.  Girl went to Kohl’s and “splurged” (if you can call it that) on practical items she and her family need anyway… and she still spent less than $100.

Moving to NY

As you may recall, April up and ditched me last spring to return to her “home state” and reclaim her NY-residency.

Impractical: April moved to another state with no job or even job prospects lined up when she was three months pregnant with her second child.

Practical: Although she may not have had a job, her husband did; the move brought them much closer to their families; and the cost of living in NY is much less than in MA.

New Business Venture

April recently started a new business venture.

Impractical: Starting a new business venture when you’re seven months pregnant isn’t a “practical” decision.

Practical: The business is being a Mary Kay consultant, which means April has little overhead, no big risk and an established program to follow with no time-sensitive deadlines.  It’s not like, at seven months pregnant, this white gal of Italian and German descent with no formal business or culinary training opened an Ethiopian restaurant in the heart of Chinatown!

And now we turn to you, dear reader(s)… would you refer to April as “practical?”


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  1. April is very practical, except when she’s being impractical.

    • Like Shmommy like daughter?

      • Well said, Shmommy…
        But you know as well as I do that one of us has to “win” this case 😉

        Perhaps we need the ruling of someone less genetically-tied to the plaintiff or the defendant. This is your chance, people. Judge us!

  2. I would change the adjective to “frugal”. April manages her household to achieve its fullest potential in this lean economic environment. While in most areas she remains frugal,she (at times) gets to splurge – well deserved!

    • Oooh, good wordage, Schmatti!

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