I Stabbed My Husband… OR, Passover 2011: Why Is This Night Different From All Other Nights?

April 19, 2011 at 4:30 pm | Posted in Heebs, Married Life | 12 Comments
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Last night I stabbed my husband. 
In the thigh. 
With an EpiPen. 
And then the police and EMTs paid us a house call and took us away with sirens a-blarin’.

Now, before I get into the details, I want to assure you all that Andrew is doing well, so don’t panic!  He’s tired, bruised (I really clocked him!), and doping just like his major league heroes (poppin’ those ‘roids like a champ), but considering what could have happened, he’s on the mend and feeling pretty darn good. 

It all started with a well-meaning Passover Seder, a ceremony in which we Yids retell the story of the Exodus to remind ourselves how lucky we are today, and how much work we have left to do in the world to help others who are less fortunate.  My dad (a.k.a. Rhymes-With-Father-of-the-Bride, or RWFOTB, for you abbreviators) and brother decided to shake things up this year and encourage us all not only to participate in the service, but to really challenge ourselves to experience the Exodus. 

Apparently my good Catholic husband inadvertently took that a little too seriously (but gosh, I love him even more for participating).  Either that or he’d do almost anything to avoid matzo…

‘Whoodles, a little miscommunication triggered an allergic reaction to nuts, which led to my stabbing Andrew in the thigh with epinephrine, which gave emergency personnel in West Hartford a little something to do on a quiet Monday evening, which necessitated a harrowing ambulance ride, and culminated in a glorious almost six hours in the emergency room waiting around and wishing we were noshing on my momma’s famous brisket, my aunt Shirley’s soothing matzo ball soup, and my craveable chocolate and caramel covered matzo.  As we Heebs say: Dayenu! 

Happy matzo to all, and to all a good night!

12 Comments »

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  1. Oh my goodness! They drive you in an ambulance and you STILL have to wait around for 6 hours? What’s up with that???

    • He had to be “observed” to make sure he didn’t have any further reactions after the ‘roids and epinepherine interacted. AND there was no cell phone reception in the room, so we kept having to borrow a nurse’s cell phone or I had to go outside to keep the families updated. Thank heaven’s I have “bejewelled” on my phone!

  2. So sorry to read this!
    Yikes!
    So happy to read he is okay.
    I hope they saved you some of the food!!
    Did the CT River part waters for you on the way to the hospital?

    As for the ER – next time don’t hit him with the Epi Pen and they’ll take you right away!!

    • Alas, the CT River didn’t cooperate, but we were pretty sure a patient in the room down the hall had been out drinking with Elijah 😉

  3. What a way to commence your first Passover as a married couple! I mean, you could have just toasted with champagne or something, as stabbing your spouse seems a bit extreme. To each their own, I suppose… 😉

    • LOL! Go big or go home, Mary Ellen 😉
      (Oy vey)

      • Ha – nice response. But seriously, I have been there and it is a scary experience. Glad everyone is okay and a good reminder to keep that epipen up to date.

        • Thanks, Brooke 🙂 XO

  4. Good thing you got his prescription filled! And why do we Wilderrols always have to rush in and dramatically save your hub’s life?

    • I guess it’s our cross to bear (so to speak) 😉

  5. We saved lots of food for the happy couple, calmed the guilt of the party who made the unfortunate nutty error, and were grateful that all was well in the end for our two sweethearts. No more nuts or food made with nuts are ever allowed in the CT household when the happy couple are here!!!!!!(Except a few nutty people).

    • As it is written (on our blog), so shall it be done, Mo. No more nuts!!! (With the exception of our loved ones ;))
      And the food was deeelish!


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