It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere…

August 19, 2011 at 9:59 am | Posted in Married Life | Leave a comment
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It’s five o’clock somewhere, so let’s get this party started!  Today we’re celebrating the biggest and baddest of all anniversaries!  No, it’s not April and Mike’s or Andrew and my big day – this anniversary is far more significant!

Blog Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to Us! And yes, this bear DOES look a little "special"...

Today is the two-year anniversary of Factinis & Factomelettes!  Over the past 730 days, we have shared more than 400 posts with 50,000 visitors!  And we’re dang proud and very grateful that you’ve put up with us for so long.  So here’s to you, our dear reader(s), for your loyalty, patience, and, in all likelihood, masochism.

An important side note: Anniversary etiquette dictates that this is the “cotton” anniversary.  Rather than sending us new clothes or linens, April and I humbly request gifts of cash – after all, paper currency is 75% cotton, and that’s good enough for us!

~Sarah

Bathroom Etiquette

June 8, 2011 at 8:55 am | Posted in Around Boston, Office Humor | 8 Comments
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I like to think I’m well-versed in etiquette.  My friends and family know me as the “thank you card queen” (I really do have an affinity for writing cards of all kinds, especially thank you notes), and I’m often consulted in matters of propriety and manners (I like to think it’s because I’ve been well-trained, not because I’m judgy).  But, dear reader(s), I’m not too proud to admit that I don’t always have the answers, and at the moment, I am perplexed by a situation at my new workplace.

The ladies room in our office building is one of those four-stall deals.  And yes, I do have a preferred stall – it’s the third one – what of it?  Anywho, it’s a rare occasion that I’m in the throne room alone.  Not an unusually strange situation – we’re all faced with public pottying every now and then.  What is strange, however, is the behavior of one of the gals in my building.

A few times every week when I enter the loo, I find her there already – but she’s never in a stall.  Most of the time, she’s pacing around the tiled room, talking (loudly) on her cell phone (in another language, so no, I can’t eavesdrop – not that eavesdropping would be proper, even if I could do it!).  And sometimes she’s pacing around the room without her cell phone.  Mumbling to herself.  Or crying.  She never potties.  She only paces and makes some sort of noise.

And I have NO idea what to do.  I’ve tried a noncommittal smile, a friendly smile, a chin-raise-acknowledgement, a brief “hey,” a wave, and even a “You okay?” inquiry.  I’ve tried ignoring her, acknowledging her without eye contact, and pretending I’m not listening to anything but the sound of my own… breathing.  But nothing really feels right.

What, dear reader(s), would you do?

Perplexed in the potty,
Sarah

Photo Phriday: Legos of Walmart

July 16, 2010 at 7:50 am | Posted in Around Boston, Photo Phriday | 6 Comments
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Have you ever seen the blog People of Walmart? If you have, you’re probably chuckling and rolling your eyes about it as you read this. If you haven’t, make sure to take a gander (when your boss is not around to catch you and question your productivity or hear your visceral reaction to the content).  

 
Anyway, I found myself in said consumer-goods powerhouse the other day and there were some “sights” to see (but I didn’t feel right about taking their photos – there’s that manners thing again). I did, however, stumble upon an inanimate object that I didn’t feel any remorse about capturing…  

Guarding the entrance, I found this giant Lego Indiana Jones:  

Indiana Jones is the MAN... apparently...

 

At first glance I didn’t notice anything peculiar. But then I had a sort of Disney-cartoon-subliminal-message-conspiracy moment: I took a closer look and noticed that apparently the good Dr. Jones isn’t shy about putting his ample manhood on display.
   

What happened to the days of asexual Legos?
 
Mourning my innocence,
Sarah  

Lego people - Rated PG

Beware of Partners Who Won’t Share Their Acorns?

June 3, 2010 at 8:02 am | Posted in Around Boston | 4 Comments
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As I waited for the train yesterday, I stood next to a well-dressed couple in the process of breaking up. It was uncomfortable, but the train platform was really crowded, and I thought it would be rude to move away. Manners always get in the way of things… But at least my discomfort yielded a blog topic!

Anyway, as you can imagine, some pretty heavy vocabulary was being tossed around like live grenades… We had the “Who the f**k do you think you are, accusing me like that?” followed soon thereafter by the “I trusted you!” comeback. The “I can’t take your suspicions anymore” rebuked by the treacherous: “Well, if you weren’t always so ‘secret squirrel’ about everything…”

Wait. What? Did he (yes, I did say HE) just accuse his soon-to-be-former lady friend of being too “secret squirrel” about her doings?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that, if you want to be taken seriously in a confrontation (or anytime, really), avoid phrases like “secret squirrel” or “tricksy toad” or “maniacal monkey,” or any other alliterative animal comparisons.

~Sarah (the Blogging Badger?)

Sarah’s on a Mission…

June 1, 2010 at 9:22 am | Posted in Around Boston | Leave a comment
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Dear reader(s), 

Because you’ve been so loyal and non-judgmental, I feel the need to warn you about this blog post: I am about to channel my inner old codger – with a twist of activism for flavor (I call it the Shaken Shakin’ Senior Factini). Caveat lurker, and don’t say I didn’t warn you… 

Back in the good ol’ days when I first learned to drive, my parents ensured that I learn a thing or two about road manners, especially appropriate acknowledgment of driving kindness. They taught me that, when changing lanes, for example, I must always signal (and check my mirrors and the road, of course) and then, when a fellow driver grants ample space for the maneuver, I switch lanes and wave to acknowledge their assistance. 

Lately I’ve noticed that I’m one of the few old-fashioned drivers who still use the “wave-thanks.” In fact, I rarely even see anyone recognize drivers in other vehicles with a simple “palm-raise-thanks!” So I’ve decided to start a campaign to bring back etiquette to our roads by officially declaring the start of the “Road Manners Matter” campaign. 

Similar to Oprah’s “No Phone Zone,” I expect every television network to jump on the bandwagon (minivan? Is that what it would be in today’s terms?) and devote their top-rated news programs to discussing this issue. I expect people around the country to sign a pledge to improve their driving manners. And I look forward to seeing the wave-thanks in action daily. 

Gotta love the Masshole Proshop's products!

 

Am I trying to stifle anyone’s creativity or squelch reasonable angry outbursts? No. I’m a tried and true aggressive Masshole driver, too! When the situation is appropriate, I say honk out your feelings; when necessary, flip another driver the bird; and please don’t hesitate to play your radio so loudly that drivers three lanes over feel the vibration.  I would never stand in your way when it comes to loud noises and inappropriate gestures. I’m simply encouraging motorists to recognize the helpful drivers who allow us to quickly change lanes when we don’t realize an exit has gotten that close, or when we think that, in our daily commuting traffic jams, an alternate lane will get us to work so much faster that we absolutely must switch lanes (tell me again why we’re rushing to work?). 

Honk (or should I say wave?) if you’re with me! 

~Sarah

Your mission, should you choose to accept it…

September 16, 2009 at 7:55 am | Posted in Office Humor | Leave a comment
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Everyone has a purpose in life. Some people are destined to create brilliant works of art, some are meant to teach and inspire young minds and some are fulfilling their dreams by defending the Green Monster and hitting delicious dingers. At this point, I am not sure what my true purpose is, so while I’m trying to figure it out, I have decided to take on an important mission: I will annoy the annoying commuters on my train.

In the past I have referenced some of these travelers – see faux train sleepers in Faux Elegance – but they haven’t really been my pre-coffee priority. But now that September has set in and all those darling professionals are back from their fancy vacations, my train is getting very crowded and my patience is running very thin.

Take yesterday morning, for example. I watched a middle-aged man sitting in the aisle seat – no one in the window seat – reading his newspaper until the train came to a stop. Each time we stopped, he promptly put his head back and closed his eyes and miraculously fell fast asleep – at every stop! What skill! His narcolepsy was so precise that it kicked in at the exact moment when he otherwise would have had to move over and share his row. And since most commuters understand the exhaustion of the daily grind that is getting in and out of the city from the ‘burbs, they take pity and don’t disturb his rest. They just keep on moving past him to scavenge free space down the aisle.

No more. This morning I took a stand. When I got on the train he was in dreamland, of course. So I stood diagonally behind him until he resumed the Lowell Sun article that had bored him into sleep. Once he began reading, I got up and asked him ever so politely to scootch over. Needless to say, he was wide awake and engrossed in his paper until we arrived at North Station. Now that’s what I call justice, commuter-style!

So beware, self-centered travelers on the MBTA/MBCR Lowell line: I am on the lookout for bad behavior – and hopefully others will join me in the fight for commuting manners!

Now where did I put that badge?

~Sarah

P.S. We traditionally write our blogs on our commutes, and this was no exception. I wrote this while sitting next to him!

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