Photo Phriday: Of All the Starches in the World…

June 15, 2012 at 1:24 pm | Posted in Around Boston, In The Kitchen, Office Humor, Photo Phriday | 4 Comments
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Mmm, culinary awkwardness!  Today’s Photo Phriday is compliments of the usually-on-task café in Dark Water Fowl’s office building.  Notice anything odd?

This pairing just ain’t kosher…

How about a nice pilaf?

Of all the starches in the world, why they chose Israeli Cous Cous to pair with pork is beyond me!

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Diet Update: The Gods Must Be Cruel

February 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm | Posted in In The Kitchen, Office Humor | Leave a comment
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The first two weeks of The Great HindJew Pact were a success!  Dipika and I ate healthy foods in moderation, worked out three times each week and felt accomplished and proud.  And then I got the plague (okay, okay, it is just a never-ending cold/cough/sniffles-fest), work got insanely busy, and employees the world over flocked – excuse the pun – to Dark Water Fowl’s office, where we had to play hostesses with the mostesses (read: go out for dinner and drinks more often than I care to admit).  It was a healthy-living disaster, and when we stepped on our respective scales this weekend, we knew we had sinned.  A lot.

So this morning we rededicated ourselves to the cause.  We brought healthy foods in appropriate portions to sustain us during the day, we planned our weekly workout schedule and we gave each other pep talks.  We started feeling better about ourselves again…

Gah! Girl Scout Cookies are the tools of the devil! (Image courtesy of http://icansing.blogspot.com/)

And then we realized it is Girl Scout Cookie delivery day and we are surrounded by colorful boxes of these tempting treats.  And the worst part is, the branding makes us think it’s okay to practically inhale them a box at a time!

I mean, they’re called Thin Mints and Caramel deLites® (aka Samoas®), which is so unfair, and probably false advertising!  Let’s face it, there’s nothing “lite” about them, and they sure aren’t going to make me thin! 

If I had to identify the silver lining I would say this is a great opportunity to prove that we do, in fact, have willpower.  That we can show ourselves that nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels.  And blah blah blah.

Just get the Tagalongs® outta my sight before someone gets hurt!

The Great HindJew Pact of 2012

January 25, 2012 at 11:00 am | Posted in Heebs, Home Ownership, In The Kitchen, Married Life | 4 Comments
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When I last obsessed about focused on my “healthy lifestyle initiative” (who am I kidding?  Let’s call a spade a spade: my diet), I was desperately trying to be the perfect bride. Since that time, I got hitched, got a new gig, bought a fixer-upper and started to fix it up, and, as a result, resumed eating my feelings. And I have a LOT of feelings. So now there’s a lot more of me to love than in my wedding photos…

Enter my gal pal and colleague, Dipika, and our brand new initiative: The Great HindJew Pact of 2012. Together Dipika and I are vowing to battle the bulge, to rediscover our skinny jeans and, most importantly, to feel better about ourselves. How? By making smarter food choices (cough cough portion size cough cough) and committing to a torture regular exercise routine.

Why am I telling you this? Well, we read somewhere that “publicly declaring your goals significantly enhances your chance of success.” So yeah, we’re using you. Thanks for your inadvertent assistance!

And if you’d like to join us in The Great HindJew Pact of 2012, we will welcome you with soon-to-be-unflabby arms!

Photo Phriday: Your Rabbi Is Delicious!

January 13, 2012 at 9:23 am | Posted in In The Kitchen, Office Humor | 2 Comments
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Everyone knows Jews are excellent cooks.  Latkes (goys say potato pancakes) are little fried pillows of heaven, brisket (southerners smoke it, but we make it saucy!) is practically an institution, and matzo ball soup is not only yummy, but also good for what ails ya.

Being a fairly experienced yid, I thought I was familiar with almost every heeb delicacy, but apparently I was wrong.  I have never, in my thirty-something years on G-d’s green Earth, seen, tasted or heard tell of “Broccoli Rabbi.”  But apparently I’ve been missing out.  Witness:

Menu Misspelling

I prefer Carrot Rabbi!

Sounds… umm… tasty?

P.S. Apparently another Jewish delicacy is also on this odd menu – sort of.  Pastromi?  Really?
It’s pastrami, fools.
Amen!

Chocolate-Covered Bacon… The Real Deal

July 1, 2011 at 6:18 am | Posted in In The Kitchen, Photo Phriday | 3 Comments
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Remember when I spent too much cash on a bar of dark chocolate with bacon in it and I was sorely disappointed because the bacon was miniscule? Our good buddy Dan, who blogs over at Squibix, suggested the obvious solution of making my own. So I finally found myself with some leftover bacon, some melted dark chocolate and clearly too much time on my hands. And I got my chocolatiering on.* Here’s the final product:

chocolate-covered bacon

mmm... chocolatey confections.

The little balls on the left are scrumptious truffles that are ridiculously easy to make. They are why I happened to have some melted dark chocolate.

So I dipped my leftover bacon in my leftover chocolate. And the cholesterol gods were obviously in my head because I actually sprinkled some kosher salt on some of the bacon strips post-dipping. Because salt nicely complements chocolate. And I’m trying to clog my arteries.

I was beyond excited to taste my creation. And I was in a giving mood, so I invited my SIL Tracy to partake in the tasting. What did we think? Drumroll, please…

Meh. As Tracy so wisely noted, you desperately want to love the combination of two of your favorite foods. Which makes it so much worse when the combination really isn’t that good. Apparently bacon and chocolate are destined to maintain a safe distance from one another. Sigh.

~April

*Random note: I am obsessed with the idea of becoming a chocolatier. Not that I’m taking any steps to become one or have any sort of experience other than enjoyment of the final product. But I have seen Chocolat more times than I can count and I desperately want to be Juliette Binoche’s character. One of the best compliments I ever received was when my book club gal pals decided that she was the actress I most look like. Swoon.

Photo Phriday: What Are YOU Celebrating?

June 24, 2011 at 10:23 am | Posted in Around Boston, In The Kitchen | 4 Comments
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Last weekend I made some cookies for my dad, RWFOTB, and only after I laid them out on the trays did I realize I had inadvertently pulled a Cake Wrecks kind of mistake…

This is what I baked:

Huh?

Apparently we were celebrating Fat Hers Day.

Needless to say, I rearranged the text before he woke up.  It was the least I could do, since I put him to work on Father’s Day!

Father's Day Cookies

~Sarah

April and Sarah Go on a Diet: Mythical Nourishment and Mortal Imaginations

March 24, 2010 at 9:04 am | Posted in Around Boston, In The Kitchen | 4 Comments
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Other than hallucinations, crumb cravings and oat incidents, April and I have weathered our new “healthy eating plan” well, and have made it through week four without seriously injuring anyone.

Awesome...

During these long, calorie-deprived weeks, I’m fairly certain that our sense of smell has become much keener. Take, for example, our commute home yesterday: as we speed-walked (sped-walked? That can’t be right!) past the Domino’s in Boston’s West End, the scent of pizza wafted into our noses. We nearly stopped (pedestrian) traffic as we came to a screeching halt in front of the pizzeria… And yes, my boot CAN make screeching halts. The aroma of freshly baked dough tickled our noses as the sweet yet slightly acidic tomato sauce and salty, oily scent of melting cheese tantalized us. We gazed longingly toward the pizza shop that, just two months ago during P.D. (Pre-Diet, as that era is called), wouldn’t have given us pause, and wondered if heaven might smell just like that.

As we continued our commute, my erudite friend and I began discussing Ambrosia, sustenance of the Greek gods (and we may also have discussed the more plebeian version of ambrosia – the coconut, fruit cocktail and marshmallow “salad” that April craved when she was preggers but which turns my stomach… That’s not the point… You know how we get distracted… Focus, dear reader(s)).

We may even have expressed our hope that heaven includes an all you can eat gourmet cafeteria that specializes in pizza, chocolate cake, honey roasted peanut butter, milk shakes, nachos, ice cream, beer, cookies, spiced nuts, etc. (Are you there G-d? It’s me, Booty).

Anyway, the heightened sense of smell sounds like a delightful bonus to our slightly more svelte figures, right? Unfortunately our super-sensitive shmekkers also pick up the unpleasant scents, too. For example, walking through a certain neighborhood that shall be left unnamed (but rhymes with seekin’ thrill), we are occasionally accosted by a scent that can only be described as “fish diapers.” Yes, if baby fish ate other fish and wore diapers, that’s what it would smell like on garbage day on seekin’ thrill. Which seems to occur more than once a week. Shudder.

At least the fish diaper smell curbs our appetites!

Here’s to continued success – and nose plugs – in the D.D. (during diet) era!

~Sarah

PS Happy St. Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2010 at 12:14 pm | Posted in In The Kitchen | 8 Comments
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I adore McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes. But I know the shake is a nutritional nightmare. Big props to Schmargaret for finding me a much healthier substitute, Hungry Girl’s Shamrock ‘n’ Roll Shake. Looks delish!

~April

April & Sarah Go on a Diet: Dr. Wilderrol and Mrs. Hoofington

March 2, 2010 at 1:30 pm | Posted in In The Kitchen, Misc. | 21 Comments
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As you may know, April and I started our “healthy eating plan” (aka diet, but that’s a taboo word these days) about a week ago and, as part of our commitment to keep it up, we will be updating you, our dear reader(s), on our progress every now and again. Day One wasn’t too bad, though it was a little confusing. Week One is, well, let’s just say it is more trying. Especially for those around us. Witness our normally joyful coffee break:

Even coffee cannot bring joy to a dieting Wilderrol...

You see, April and I have been a little grouchy lately*. So much so that we are starting to resemble that famous personality disordered-fellow of literary fame, Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Except we’re more like Dr. Wilderrol and Mrs. Hoofington…

Andrew and I once heard someone mispronounce the phrase “in a huff” as “in a hoof.” Apparently it stuck, and now whenever I’m less than patient and pleasant, he lovingly refers to me as Mrs. Hoofington. Shockingly, that little moniker doesn’t do much for talking me down off my emotional ledge! But I admit that occasionally the nickname is warranted. For example: April and I nearly came to blows over a piece of her oats and honey granola bar.

En route to our train after a particularly difficult day, our stomachs started talking. Truth be told, they were exchanging fighting words (grumbles?). And then it happened… we both noticed that April had a single oat stuck between her teeth from the oh-so-delicious granola bar she had eaten for afternoon snack. And that oat looked mighty tasty… She pried it out, held it up triumphantly and cried: “Snack time for me!” and then cackled like a crazed witch in a kid’s movie. As she started to put the delicate morsel on her tongue, I lunged. It was an out-of-body experience: my hunger drove me to violence! And April, well, April is pretty scrappy and she responded in kind.

Picture a scene from The Matrix (The Oat?) or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (Crunching Tiger Hidden Crumb?) – except instead of trained assassins and ninjas, it was two gals on a diet, and instead of some futuristic alternate reality or lush arboretum, we were standing on a busy thoroughfare in Boston’s West End. Yeah. Not our best day…

(Okay, so that may not have actually happened, but that’s exactly how we both played it out in our minds!)

Desperately Seeking Snacks,
Sarah

*Don’t get us wrong, there have been other factors at play regarding our “baditudes”… but we’ll blame the diet!

Happy Pig Day!

March 1, 2010 at 10:50 am | Posted in In The Kitchen, Misc. | 4 Comments
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Today is a big day for me.  It’s National Pig Day!!!  And you know I love the pig.  In all honesty, I don’t know what National Pig Day really entails.  Sure, I’m a fan on Facebook, but I haven’t done any research into this amazing holiday.  What I do know is that Mike and I will be consuming Italian sausage tonight (yeah, I’m dieting and eating sausage.  Deal.)  And as a treat for you, my faithful reader(s), here is My Ode to the Pig:

Pink and squealy,
Slightly hairy,
You had me at bacon.
Pork chops, pork loin,
Divine porcine.
Wilbur, Arnold Ziffel, Porky Pig and Piglet, too.
My doctor says you’re bad for me,
But I just can’t quit you.

I apologize.  Poetry is not my strong point.

~April

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