Is That Why They Call It “Silent… but Deadly?”

October 18, 2010 at 1:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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Sometimes I don’t believe it until I Google it… And sometimes I’m still tempted not to believe it even after “the goggle” tells me it’s true! For example, this weekend Rhymes-with-Tinny revealed that she and Rhymes-with-Hat-Trick were very tempted to give us something other than the oh-so-appropriate wedding gift they purchased. When I inquired about what the alternative was, she could barely keep a straight face when she replied: The Better Marriage Blanket.

You owe it to your marriage...

What, you may ask, is The Better Marriage Blanket? Well, I didn’t know either, until she explained it to me using the company’s tagline: The blanket “eliminates the odor of flatulence in bed!”

Apparently some people’s mates have such tremendously malodorous gaseous emissions that this company stuffed a blanket with “activated carbon fabric – the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons” to help absorb “flatulence molecules” (yes, that’s the technical term they’re using).

I couldn’t make this up! And neither did Rhymes-with-Tinny! Here’s the official marketing video!
(The embed code has been disabled, but if you click on the link you’ll get to see the “stunning” video for yourself – and trust me, it is worth it!)

And you know what? I almost wish they had opted for this little gem… just so I could say I own The Better Marriage Blanket!


It’s A Watch. It’s A Phone. It’s Another ASOTV Product!

August 23, 2010 at 7:36 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
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It’s no secret that I’m kind of obsessed with As Seen On TV products. But did you also know I’ve always thought it would be pretty cool to be a spy? The intrigue, the travel, speaking foreign languages, making weapons out of simple household products — wait, that’s MacGyver. But you know what I mean. The life of a spy is really exciting. At least, that’s what I learned by watching James Bond, Austin Powers and Burn Notice.

And I’d be really good at it. I apparently have no trouble lying these days. I’m a decent shot. And who would suspect the pregnant lady?

So imagine how excited I was to come across this: the Watch Phone. They say it’s great for “Moms on the go,” which is the perfect cover. Because I’m a mom on the go. But you know I wouldn’t be using my Watch Phone to set up a play date or call the pediatrician. I’d be calling a partner in crime spying from behind a tree to report on the latest activities of… well, anyone and anything.

I think I need this. Who’s with me?


The Best Jeans Ever?

June 16, 2010 at 12:46 pm | Posted in TV (The Boob Tube) | 5 Comments
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I was watching a rerun of the Rachael Ray Show this morning and saw an As Seen On TV product that I totally missed: Pajama Jeans. Pajama Jeans are made from some secret, magical cotton/spandex blend that makes them as comfy as pjs, but as fashionable as your regular (presumably uncomfy) jeans. And they don’t have any buttons or zippers.

But wait! There’s more! You get a free t-shirt with every pair of jeans you order. A free t-shirt!!!

How have I never seen this infomercial? Why has no one purchased me a pair of pajama jeans? I know my co-blogger would adore these. And we’d be more than happy to accept some Pajama Jeans and then blog about our experience. Just saying…

Enquiring minds want to know: are these jeans or pajamas? Maybe I watch too much tv.


Work it, Girl!

June 9, 2010 at 7:46 am | Posted in Around Boston | 6 Comments
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One of our dear reader(s) recently brought an interesting fact to my attention: when blogging about our health initiatives, April and I usually obsess about discuss food, and grant very little blog-space to the other parts of the healthy lifestyle trifecta: exercise and attitude/mental state.  So today’s post will include a few of our super fitness finds! 

For example, we all know that April is obsessed with As Seen on TV products like the Bump-it, Ped-Egg, Strap Perfect, and even Pro Caulk (courtesy of Schmatti).  What you may not know is that I, too, have an As Seen on TV obsession, only mine is strictly related to fitness products.  

As Andrew can attest, there’s a corner of our living room devoted to said obsession.  We’ve got the Bender Ball, Tae Bo and Billy’s Boot Camp (complete with Billy Bands), Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred, and even a VHS of 8 Minute Abs (with Jaime Brenkus – you know you remember this guy)!  

The godfather of sweat! I ❤ Richard Simmons


I’ve loved and used them all over the years.  They’re like gym friends – you know, the ones you smile half-heartedly at when you meet near the elliptical because you know you shouldn’t go so long between visits, and when you do get around to working out, you want to impress them with how toned and in-shape you are (to make up for not seeing them in a while) so you work too hard, end up in pain and then quit again until the guilt gets to be too much?  No?  Just me?  Never mind.  

Anyway, despite my love of infomercial-based fitness equipment, I do NOT have the Shake Weight (because it seems a little… ummmm… yeah… not family-friendly) or the AB Transform (because I’m not sure even the best infomercial could sell me on “EMS” – electro muscular stimulation).  With that said, I’m not against trying these products – I’m just against spending my own money on ’em.  If any of our dear reader(s) have used these products before, do tell!!  

Alternatively, if you want a full report about them from yours truly (I vow to spare no details), feel free to purchase them on my behalf!  That goes for you, too, As Seen on TV company – I welcome the chance to review your fine (and sometimes moderately sketchy) products. 

Yours in fitness fun time, 


A Belated Holiday Gift…?

December 29, 2009 at 4:00 pm | Posted in Spam | 3 Comments
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As you know, we Factinis & Factomelettes gals appreciate gifts, bribes and tokens of love in *almost* all forms (including, but not limited to: gift cards, shiny objects, baked goods, love letters, As Seen on TV products we can’t live without, etc.) Thus far we’ve been very fortunate, but this week I received an offer that changed my mind about unsolicited gifts…

Thanks to my prowess as a blogger, a Mr. Vlad Bad has offered me the opportunity to order Russian Brides online. That’s right, not just one bride, but multiple brides are available for my perusal and selection on the interwebs. You may ask, dear reader(s), how I know this is a serious offer, and not just spam.

Well, spam hardly seems likely. How many Russian Brides are out there on the internets? Not enough to give to every Tom, Dick and Sarah, that’s for sure! Wonder if they can be shipped already gift wrapped?

While I appreciate your kind offer, Mr. Bad, I will have to pass. In the future, please note that a better way to my heart is through Dunkin Donuts gift cards. Anonymous Russian brides just don’t warm my soul in the same way as a hot latte!


But Wait! There’s More…

August 21, 2009 at 9:02 am | Posted in TV (The Boob Tube) | Leave a comment

Can you think of four more exciting words? I can’t. Utter that phrase and watch my Pavlovian reaction.

I proudly admit I’m an “As seen on tv” fanatic. If there’s an infomercial about it, I need your product. Sham-wow? Sham-needs-it. Bump-its? Wore one to my sister Vanessa’s wedding rehearsal. Ped-egg? Check. Strap Perfect? Double check. I’ve been a fan ever since my grandparents purchased their Jack LaLanne juicer. One sip of “the power of the juice” and I knew that not only are products sold on tv desirable, they are necessary. If it has its very own 30- or 60-minute commercial, it has to be good, right?

Vanessa and I have spent many a Sunday morning riding the couch in our pjs learning the endless virtues of Chef Tony’s knives and the multitudinous recipes quickly and easily prepared in a Magic Bullet. My friend Julie put the Magic Bullet on her wedding registry. And one time I met an inebriated couple at the beach drinking daiquiris out of Magic Bullet cups. They watched my stuff while I braved the tepid Atlantic. True story.

Hoodles, infomercials made a resurgence in my life in a big way after my son was born. He likes to eat. A lot. Those first few months involved a lot of me and Max in a glider in front of the tv at odd, dark hours. And yes, I nurse my baby in front of the tv. How else do you expect me to stay awake at 3 a.m. with a kid who acts offended if you try to eat, drink or read while he’s eating? Suffice it to say I am well-versed in the current batch of products you never knew you couldn’t live your life without.

And now, in a real teaser, not only does Walgreens sell “As seen on tv” products in the store (save on shipping!), but now CVS has joined the fun. That’s right Walgreens, you have infomercial competition. And Snuggies are on sale at Kohls for $14.99. Just saying.


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