Rich People Problems

July 9, 2013 at 11:37 am | Posted in Family, Married Life | Leave a comment
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The other day the hubs and I were bickering about household chores – he feels like he does the lion’s share and that I spend more time reading baseball blogs than helping.  I feel like he needs to relax every once in a while and understand that our house will never be as clean or tidy as he imagines it should be.

Okay, okay, it was the opposite, but sometimes it’s refreshing to pretend it’s the gal who puts sports over washing bottles.  Annnywho, in one of my dramatic retorts, I said something like:

“Fine, I’ll just get the maid to do it!  But you never help plan menus with the chef, the gardener is still waiting to hear exactly how many millimeters you’d like him to hand trim off the lawn, and the chauffeur has really been slacking on polishing the dipstick handle.  Can you get off your lazy butt and order people around for a change?  Or do I have to manage the staff alone as usual?”

I think my golden throne (haha) needs polishing!  Where's the bathroom maid?!?

I think my golden throne (haha) needs polishing! Where’s the bathroom maid?!?

It was enough to break the tension between us, but that got me thinking: is that how fights between the uber rich actually sound?  What do the gajillionaire couples of the world squabble about?  Because I’ll bet it’s not dishes, laundry, or which bill to pay first and which to postpone.

I think an experiment is in order.  Here’s what I propose: give me a few gajillion dollars (one of you can give me a lump sum or take up a collection or something; how you make this happen isn’t the important part – don’t be penny wise and gajillion foolish).  I’ll move into a mansion, hire a full-fledged staff (first hire: a personal assistant and then a household manager who will actually hire the rest of the staff for me – that’s not something a gajillionaire like me should have to concern herself with), and report back.  I promise to answer this, and any other questions you have about how the upper crust lives.  We’ll all be the wiser!

You can’t put a price on knowledge like that.  But do try.

Penalty: Excessive Celebration

February 7, 2011 at 10:34 am | Posted in TV (The Boob Tube) | 3 Comments
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I didn’t grow up in a football house – we were baseball people exclusively – but my hubs loves the game (he was a dreamy high school football team captain and even played in college) so as a good-girlfriend-then-good-fiancé-now-good-wife, I’ve been trying to get into the spirit for years (though admittedly I root for the Pats over his pick of the Giants: I have my limits). But I have a serious beef with the NFL: while I’m all for sportsman-like conduct, I think the league is making a BIG mistake with excessive celebration penalties.

Touchdown dances are more entertaining than halftime shows!

I’ll be frank here for a moment*: I find myself uninterested in games without the Patriots or Giants (although I do harbor some confusing feelings for the brothers Manning, especially Peyton!!). In a game like last night’s Super Bowl, I can enjoy watching good ads (loved little Volkswagon Darth Vader and Audi’s “luxury prison” ad with Kenny G), but I still need to root for something in order to hold my interest between commercial breaks (you know, during the actual game). And what I’ve found I like best about the game are the touchdown dances. No matter which team is playing, I can always appreciate a sweet touchdown dance. But for some reason, the NFL is all up in players’ dance space.

Those players have moves, and they’ve made it to the grandest game of the year. I say if they’re lucky enough to score those precious six points, let ’em celebrate! Flips, boogies, even a jig – bring it on!

I’m not talking about burning the other QB in effigy, cussing, doing a strip tease or anything that might be construed as inappropriate by Midwestern grandmas. I’m just talking about a little wiggle room to enjoy their big night.

Let the spandex-clad men dance, damnit!

~Sarah  

*Who do you want to be?

Let’s Go… Yankees?

October 6, 2010 at 8:54 pm | Posted in Around Boston | 5 Comments
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This is a painful blog post. In fact, this is a truly painful night for yours truly. For those of you unfamiliar with the ALDS (that’s baseball, kids), my beloved Red Sox are donezo for the season, and Andrew’s Yankees are currently playing the Twins.

Normally I’d be rooting for the Twins; not merely to avoid giving Andrew the satisfaction of hearing me support his little pin-striped squad, but also because I like the Twins and have fond memories of watching them play often during a summer spent in the Twin Cities.
 
But tonight is no normal night. With our wedding just four days away, I’m faced with a serious problem: there’s a chance that there will be a Yankees game on our wedding night, and I don’t really want to know what Andrew would do if given the dilemma of me v. Yankees.
 
So what’s a girl to do? Root for a sweep! I would love to see the Twins shut the Yankees down, but I know that such a situation would make for an extremely irritable groom-to-be, and with all the other stuff on our plates right now, we both need to be on our best behavior.
 
So here I am with a very traumatic confession: I’m rooting for the Yankees to sweep the ALDS. 
 
And it hurts.
 
~Sarah
 
PS As I write this it is the top of the fourth, 3-0 Twins, and Andrew is verging on groomzilla already…

Define “Talent”

September 28, 2010 at 7:46 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 19 Comments
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Andrew and I may be required to participate in a talent show in the coming months. Sounds fun, right? Not for a couple without a crowd-pleasing talent to show off. We quickly did a review of the talent-show-appropriate skills we might already possess and came up with… Ummm… Well… Not a heckuva lot.

We can’t sing. We can’t dance. We can’t juggle saws (or even scarves) or play instruments or even do martial arts. We aren’t great at impersonating famous people, and we certainly aren’t coordinated or fit enough to do any Cirque du Soleil maneuvers. We doubt that quizzing Andrew about baseball predictions and trivia would be entertaining, and I will freely admit that watching me blog is nap-inducing.

One viable suggestion is to lip sync. Perhaps a little “Blame it on the Rain” action? The question is: does that count as a talent?


Another is stand-up… But we hear that takes both skill and practice, and we can’t vouch that we will have either.

Alternatively, we were hoping to learn magic or ventriloquism – but let’s face it: we are already too overwhelmed to learn anything new, and we’d need to find a very patient (not to mention free) teacher.  

So I’m turning to you, dear reader(s): does lip syncing count as a talent? What can we do to entertain a tough crowd? What should Andrew and I perform when all eyes are on us? (No creepy or sexual answers, please – this is a family blog. Wink!).

~Sarah

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