Pregnancy, Part One

September 24, 2012 at 1:59 pm | Posted in Around Boston, Office Humor, Pregnancy Fun Time | 8 Comments
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As you know, I’m fairly open about sharing news and life milestones, but for some reason, I felt REALLY awkward telling people about my pregnancy when it was time to share it.  Has any other mom-to-be felt this way?  Am I the only who couldn’t quite figure out a way to let people know?  Or who was content with people eventually figuring out that my belly was more baby than brownies (for a change) without my having to say it out loud?

Let’s just say I wasn’t quick to post ultrasound photos to Facebook… (“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”)

But now that my pregnancy is “Facebook official” (thanks, mom!), I can blog about it freely and share my experiences thus far with a bun in my oven (icky expression).  Andrew and I are SO excited to be parents (g-d willing), but as you can imagine, there’s been a fair amount of awkwardness over these past 16 weeks, too.  Here’s a slice of the silly aspects of pregnancy thus far…

In the Dark with Morning Sickness

Because I work at a software company, the ratio of men to women is pretty skewed, so, despite the four stalls, the ladies room often feels like a private potty.  The plus side of that is, mid-first trimester when I spent a fair amount of time hovering over the porcelain throne, I could bank on being alone in there and easily hiding whenever I had to toss my cookies in the office bathroom.

However, this privacy also had a downside.  In an effort to save energy, the bathroom lights are on sensors, and after a few minutes without detecting movement, the lights shut off.  No windows, no night lights – it is pitch black in there when the overheads are off.  I can’t even begin to tell you how awkward it is to be locked in a bathroom stall in absolute darkness, on the verge of ralphing, praying you don’t miss the toilet while trying not to touch anything!

It should have been an event in London – I’d have won Olympic gold!


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Chico’s So Slimming Jeans for the Already Slim

August 27, 2012 at 9:26 am | Posted in TV (The Boob Tube) | 19 Comments
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As you know, dear reader(s), it’s been a while since I last blogged, so you can bet I have some pent-up inconsequential angst to share.  Today I’d like to take out my irrational wrath on the Chico’s So Slimming™ commercials. 

So Slimming Jeans

Wow! Chico’s So Slimming(TM) Jeans make skinny women look skinny!

As a gal with fairly obvious love handles (I wouldn’t want love to just slip away – it needs something to hold on to!) and who has been pretty open about battling my own personal bulge, I’m the target audience for such slenderizing apparel*. 

You know who doesn’t need said minimizing pantaloons?  The lady dancing like a fool in their commercials (which air CONSTANTLY, I might add). 

Click here for one of the ads I’m talking about…

I can practically see this little dancing diva’s hip bones!!  Honestly, Chico’s, let’s get real.  Advertising slimming jeans on a skinny lady does NOTHING for your target customer except perhaps generate resentment. 

You want to prove these pants are worth their weight in advertising claims?  Put a REAL woman in the pants!  And for Twinkies’ sake, quit perpetuating the stereotype that even the healthiest of women could still stand to lose a few lbs. (or at least appear as if she has lost that last pesky ounce – that she’s sure everyone notices – thanks to these miracle pants)!  Enough!       

Shame on you, Chico’s!

 

* Though granted, perhaps a decade or two too young for this particular brand.

The Great HindJew Pact of 2012

January 25, 2012 at 11:00 am | Posted in Heebs, Home Ownership, In The Kitchen, Married Life | 4 Comments
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When I last obsessed about focused on my “healthy lifestyle initiative” (who am I kidding?  Let’s call a spade a spade: my diet), I was desperately trying to be the perfect bride. Since that time, I got hitched, got a new gig, bought a fixer-upper and started to fix it up, and, as a result, resumed eating my feelings. And I have a LOT of feelings. So now there’s a lot more of me to love than in my wedding photos…

Enter my gal pal and colleague, Dipika, and our brand new initiative: The Great HindJew Pact of 2012. Together Dipika and I are vowing to battle the bulge, to rediscover our skinny jeans and, most importantly, to feel better about ourselves. How? By making smarter food choices (cough cough portion size cough cough) and committing to a torture regular exercise routine.

Why am I telling you this? Well, we read somewhere that “publicly declaring your goals significantly enhances your chance of success.” So yeah, we’re using you. Thanks for your inadvertent assistance!

And if you’d like to join us in The Great HindJew Pact of 2012, we will welcome you with soon-to-be-unflabby arms!

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