Strong Enough for a Man, pH Balanced for a Woman?

August 17, 2011 at 10:15 am | Posted in Around Boston, Home Ownership, Married Life | 2 Comments
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If there’s one thing I’ve learned about home renovation, it’s to do it when you’re NOT living in said home.  But if there’s another thing I’ve learned, it’s that there really is a difference in men’s and women’s toiletries. 

armpit smell

Well this is awkward...

Because we can’t actually unpack anything yet, Andrew and I have been “making do” with what we have.  So I’ve been using his Pert Plus and yellow Dial soap in the shower (my hair and skin have never felt so stripped of moisture – seriously, I’m a walking desert!), and he grudgingly uses my deodorant.

Yes, you read that correctly: Andrew has been using my deodorant.  He tried going without any for a few days, but we were afraid the EPA was going to get involved, so he broke down and used mine.  And he smelled delightful for a few hours.

Then he started asking if my armpits ever “burned.”

Ummmm… no, dear.  There is no Usher song dedicated to my pits, because my deodorant has never made my armpits burn!

Oh, he replied.  Maybe there’s something to that pH thing they talk about in the commercials after all!

Poor hubs and his burning armpits!  Before you get all judgy on me, please know that I’m stopping at CVS on the way home to buy shampoo, conditioner, body wash and MEN’S deodorant.

I heart home ownership!


Get Your Ice Cold Water!

June 21, 2010 at 11:57 am | Posted in Misc. | 2 Comments
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“Ralph’s Ice Cold Water! Only $1!”… I still can’t believe I bellowed that out on the streets of Hotlanta as Schmargaret and I walked alongside a grocery cart belonging to a friendly, employment-challenged Georgian named Ralph.

Let me explain…

What are you crazy tourists doing? It's too darn hot to walk!

One of the many tasks we were assigned on this business trip was making gift and refreshment bags for our guests. Schmarge and I dutifully braved downtown Atlanta in search of a convenience store, and, being particularly well-trained frugal Bostonians, we didn’t give a second thought to hoofin’ it around the city to accomplish our mission.  Bostonians walk everywhere, and Schmarge and I don’t like wasting client moolah… but oy! It was so hot, even the statues questioned our decision!

After we’d been trekking around long enough to sufficiently melt our brains, we stumbled upon a CVS a little off the beaten path where we filled two baskets with chips and candy, gift bags, sodas and bottles of water. Waiting in the checkout line, a gentleman wearing a “sleeveless tank top of the Hanes variety” (thank RWC for that awesome phrasing!) suggested that, instead of purchasing separate bottles of water, we purchase a 28-pack, thus getting more water for less money. A stroke of brilliance!

Or so we thought…

There was absolutely no way we would be able to carry 28 bottles of water in 98 degree heat (not to mention pea soup-level humidity) the two miles back to our hotel.  Thank heavens we were in the ever-polite South!  The gentleman rockin’ the Hanes attire overheard our predicament and offered to help. He introduced himself as Ralph and said he would put our water in his car and take us to a taxi.  Well, that’s what I thought he said.  What he actually said was he would put our water in his “cart” and take us to a taxi.

Helpful Ralph wheeled his shopping cart to the store entrance, gallantly placed our water on the bottom shelf, and wheeled our packages around the city for a good 20 minutes. No regular corner was good enough for his friends from Boston – Ralph had a special taxi area in mind, and we would walk for as long as it took to get there. That’s when the sales pitch came into play: the basket of Ralph’s cart was filled with a cooler and bottles of water – so Schmarge and I rose to the occasion and used our taxi-seeking trek to help sell some of Ralph’s water.

As we passed a Häagen-Dazs, a security guard noticed our odd parade and allowed us gals to wait in the shade of the ice cream emporium while his dispatcher called a taxi for us. We thanked Ralph for his services and Schmarge gave him a tip for his assistance.  Before he left, he posed for a picture, and as he walked away, requested that we make him famous. So here’s Ralph, in all his glory, after helping two clueless and heat-stroked Bostonians find a security guard who called us a cab…

Our hero, Ralph!

Chivalry lives, ladies!


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