‘Tis the Season

November 23, 2010 at 4:03 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments
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Well, dear reader(s), here we go again…

It’s time for me to make my second ever xmas list and once again, I find myself woefully unprepared.  I could blame my cultural heritage for my inability to make a kickin’ Christmas gift list, but even I admit that’s a little far-fetched: I mean, a gal who grew up with eight crazy nights of (mostly reasonable) presents shouldn’t have trouble making a Most Wanted List for one day of excessive giving.  But alas, I’m drawing a blank, and seem to be foiled at every turn.


I better be on that list, Santa! I'm a Heb but I've been very nice this year!

Normally I would be able to turn to my partner-in-crime for assistance, but she has her hands full with a brand new little nugget, and apparently my list is not her top priority. I can’t imagine why.


And, you may not know this since I’ve kept it pretty hush-hush, but I recently got married (surprise!) and was lucky enough to receive almost everything on my registry, so I’m certainly not hurtin’ for tchotchkes. No home goods needed for this gal.

Even though Andrew’s family has known me for more years than I have fingers on one hand, I still don’t think they’d be jazzed to contribute to my As Seen on TV addiction by getting me something ridiculous like the Better Marriage Blanket, and you know I’m not down with bizarre Elf on the Shelf nonsense, so crazy/silly gifts are out of the question, too.

I’ve already been offered bizarre and probably illegal gifts from a certain Mr. Vlad Bad, so that’s out, and it seems that somewhere along the line I grew up and don’t clamor for the hottest toy any more. In fact, I don’t even know what the hottest toy IS this year!

So I’m turning to you, dear reader(s): can you help me make my list?

Desperately Seeking Gifts,


Reader’s Mailbag: Holiday Decor

December 2, 2009 at 8:59 am | Posted in Around Boston | Leave a comment
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Dear Wilderrols,

That Elf on the Shelf was so creepy! Have you seen any other holiday decorations that are Factinis & Factomelettes worthy?

– T. Grinch

Dear T.G.,

Thanks for writing! We appreciate all feedback, even from literary misers and curmudgeons. We will keep our creepiness-radar on and report back. In the meantime, this sign isn’t exactly what we would call decor, but it’s in the holiday spirit, so it counts.

Yes, that is a creepy half-donut-smiling snowman. Why Rhymes-With-Clunkin-GoNuts* wouldn’t have added munchkins for eyes to take the bizarre-o-meter down a level is beyond us. But there you have it. Nothing says happy holidays like optically challenged snowmen!


*Note: Rhymes-With-Clunkin-GoNuts gift cards make excellent bribes… errr… holiday gifts for your favorite service people like mail carriers, bloggers, office cleaning crews, bloggers, teachers, bloggers, babysitters, bloggers… You get the drill! It’s a circle of life kinda thing.

Travel Tips: Emergency Parties!

November 17, 2009 at 9:06 am | Posted in Misc. | Leave a comment
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Last week I had the pleasure of attending the 2009 PRSA Conference in sunny San Diego. I learned some great new strategies and tactics, but I’m not here to give you a lesson in advanced public relations. You see, in addition to vocational updates, I was also on the look-out for things to share with my fab co-blogger and you, dear reader(s).

Last week April discussed the shelf-loving elf in my hotel gift shop. Today I would like to give you some practical advice from the same hotel…

While we stuffy New Englanders alert each other to dire situations with blasé sirens and colored lights, San Diegans do it their own special way. As the sign below indicates, if you see a party going on in SD, it may be some sort of emergency situation, and you could have to alert the authorities.

Strobe lights and whoops are not to be taken lightly!


Elf on the Shelf

November 11, 2009 at 12:11 pm | Posted in Misc. | 2 Comments
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I normally wouldn’t post about Christmas this early. It’s time to prepare for Turkey Day. Christmas is a distant event. And yet, the stores have been playing Christmas carols and hawking pink trees and Santa cookie plates for weeks. It’s way too early. I’m still eating Halloween candy. But regardless of when you think the Christmas season has begun, I think you all will agree that it will never be time for this:

This is what our fearless blogger Sarah spied in the hotel gift shop in San Diego, where she is attending a conference. She sent me that pic in the hopes that I could enlighten her on the Elf on the Shelf (EOTS) tradition and explain why it had been kept secret from her. Is it a sacred Christian ritual kept hidden from the heathens practicing other “religions?” Should she be offended that no one saw fit to let her in on the mysteries of EOTS? Or should she be proud of her super-sleuthing abilities and alert her people?

Never fear, I explained that not only have I never heard of EOTS, it is not something I would welcome into my home. Furthermore, whoever assured her EOTS is a time-honored tradition is either a sneaky-sneaky prankster or a filthy liar. Or an EOTS-worshipping cult member.

Santa is diligently making his list and checking it twice. Why send some creepy elf (who apparently travels with his own shelf) to spy on me? And why does that elf bring his own shelf anyway? Are my shelves not good enough for him? Is his precious elf-butt accustomed to only the finest shelving materials? Frankly, I’m not down with uppity elves. They make toys, for Xenu’s sake. And I’m not trying to start any rumors here, but I have it on good authority that elves also make shoes. And some live in trees and make cookies. Just saying.

If you want to invite some shady elf into your home, that’s your business. I don’t judge. But personally, I think this whole EOTS “tradition” is a ruse.

Dear reader(s), I’m looking to you. Have you heard of this? Or – gasp! – do you particpate in EOTS?


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