Pregnancy, Part One

September 24, 2012 at 1:59 pm | Posted in Around Boston, Office Humor, Pregnancy Fun Time | 8 Comments
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As you know, I’m fairly open about sharing news and life milestones, but for some reason, I felt REALLY awkward telling people about my pregnancy when it was time to share it.  Has any other mom-to-be felt this way?  Am I the only who couldn’t quite figure out a way to let people know?  Or who was content with people eventually figuring out that my belly was more baby than brownies (for a change) without my having to say it out loud?

Let’s just say I wasn’t quick to post ultrasound photos to Facebook… (“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”)

But now that my pregnancy is “Facebook official” (thanks, mom!), I can blog about it freely and share my experiences thus far with a bun in my oven (icky expression).  Andrew and I are SO excited to be parents (g-d willing), but as you can imagine, there’s been a fair amount of awkwardness over these past 16 weeks, too.  Here’s a slice of the silly aspects of pregnancy thus far…

In the Dark with Morning Sickness

Because I work at a software company, the ratio of men to women is pretty skewed, so, despite the four stalls, the ladies room often feels like a private potty.  The plus side of that is, mid-first trimester when I spent a fair amount of time hovering over the porcelain throne, I could bank on being alone in there and easily hiding whenever I had to toss my cookies in the office bathroom.

However, this privacy also had a downside.  In an effort to save energy, the bathroom lights are on sensors, and after a few minutes without detecting movement, the lights shut off.  No windows, no night lights – it is pitch black in there when the overheads are off.  I can’t even begin to tell you how awkward it is to be locked in a bathroom stall in absolute darkness, on the verge of ralphing, praying you don’t miss the toilet while trying not to touch anything!

It should have been an event in London – I’d have won Olympic gold!


LinkedIn: Join My Professionally Sleazy Network

August 16, 2011 at 2:43 pm | Posted in Spam | Leave a comment
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By now I’m used to skeezy junk mail.  I’m even getting used to faux twitter accounts.  But LinkedIn has always been a bastion of professionalism (aka the network I use to connect with business associates I don’t necessarily want to “friend” or, who, for their part, don’t necessarily want to “friend” me!  Though I can’t imagine why…).

But lately, even LinkedIn has been getting spammy!  And/or I’m acting all Plastics and totally insulting someone’s “fetch” moniker.

Take, for example, the request I recently received to connect:

Who are you, Mr./Ms. MagicFingers?

Apparently, Mr. (or is it Ms.?!?) MagicFingers thinks we’re friends.  Now, I’m a popular gal – a maven, if I do say so myself – but despite the vast tens of people I know, I generally remember the names of all my friends.  So either I’m getting too popular for my britches, or JD is trying to pull a fast one on me and pretend s/he knows me in order to trade on my blog-celebrity.  Not cool, JD.  Not cool.

But if, in fact, we are friends (and I’ve rudely forgotten about my relationship with Mr./Ms. MagicFingers), then not only have I forgotten about him/her, but I’m also insulting him/her by implying that his/her surname sounds like a ridiculous made-up name that’s probably spam – and sketchy spam, at that.

Either way, teasing out this mystery is far better than engaging in home improvement tasks, so I’ll puzzle it out for a bit longer.

~Sarah

A Blogger Walks Into a Bar…

July 21, 2011 at 10:55 am | Posted in Around Boston, Office Humor | 7 Comments
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Yesterday I (half-jokingly) used one of the tackiest pick-up lines ever on my colleagues.  After a particularly stressful morning at Dark Water Fowl (aka our office), I returned to my desk to find a yumlicious Dunkin’ iced tea with lemon waiting for me.  To thank them for brightening my day, I may have posted an inappropriate message on facespace… something to the effect of heaven missing two angels since they were slummin’ it with me on Earth…

Oh Ralph Wiggum, be still my heart! I choo-choo-choose you, too!

We discussed (cough cough used cough cough) some of the zaniest pick-up lines we’d ever heard (and yes, I did tell them that if they were on the menu at the golden arches they’d be listed as the McGorgeous).

And then it occurred to me: I may be biased, but Factinis & Factomelettes readers are some of the most beautiful, social, in-demand people on this orbiting rock we call home, and I bet you all have some priceless lines to share!

So spill it, dear reader(s)!!  What are the funniest, most awkward, worst and kookiest pick-up lines someone has ever tried on you?

(Or, in some cases, that you’ve tried on someone else).

~ Sarah

Photo Phriday: A Side of ROC I’ve Never Seen

May 20, 2011 at 10:00 am | Posted in Photo Phriday | 2 Comments
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Have you ever taken a look at the ads when stalking perusing Facebook? This picture actually appeared in an ad one day with the caption “Things To Do In Rochester.”

large person riding larger snail

I'm not sure what's scarier -- the snail or the person riding it.

I promise this is not representative of Rochester. Unless it would make you want to visit. In which case I swear up and down that ginormous snails are our preferred method of transportation.

~April

PS I’m probably supposed to give photo credit where photo credit is due. So for disclosure purposes, this was an ad for Groupon. I was extremely disappointed when I clicked on the ad. I really thought there might be a giant snail farm in Rochester. Yeah. I’m a sucker. Or an idiot. But I prefer “optimist.”

Photo Phriday: What Kind of School?

September 24, 2010 at 6:20 am | Posted in Photo Phriday | Leave a comment
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Thanks to my high school pal Kara for today’s pic. And by that, I mean I totally cribbed this off her Facebook page. But it’s the kind of thing that has to be shared with you, my Dear Reader(s). Kara and I went to public school. And if pressed, I’m sure we could both list 15 things that were great about BHS. But the 15 best things about pubic schools? Ummm…

Pubic School? Sounds, um, educational?

How long do you think it took for someone to catch the mistake?

I’ll be honest, I didn’t immediately see why people were laughing about this.  And this from a girl who has to triple-check her resume and cover letters to make sure she touts her experience in public relations, not pubic relations.

~April

I Bring The Law

August 30, 2010 at 7:17 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments
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While I was using my laptop last night to do a puzzle face-stalk work, my other half was watching the season finale of Whale Wars. He loves that show. I do not, but I don’t want to lose any friends this morning, so I’ll reserve my reasoning. Let’s just say I love eating bloody steak and shooting the occasional 9mm at a cardboard cutout of Mr. Goodwrench. Also, if I were to fly a black flag on my vessel, it would be a real pirate’s flag.

Hoodles, I wasn’t really paying any attention to the show until I heard the phrase “citizen’s arrest.” And I got real excited. One of the anti-whalers boarded a Japanese boat to make a citizen’s arrest of that ship’s captain. Two words: grande cojones.

You see, I happen to be absolutely fascinated with the idea of the citizen’s arrest. Sure, I’ve been advised by many people that citizen’s arrests are inadvisable because of certain allegedly justifiable safety concerns. But as far as I can tell, there is no law prohibiting the arrest of a scofflaw by yours truly. And I’m fairly absolutely certain that I can take anyone if the law is on my side. Even if I am seven months pregnant.

Sarah can attest that our daily commutes were frequently fraught with potential opportunities for me to do what I consider to be my civic duty. Yet we could never quite catch someone in the act. And trust me, I was always on the lookout for a bank robber, hit and run driver or illegal parker. However, I still haven’t arrested anyone.

Yet.

~April

Facebook — A Stalker’s Best Friend

July 28, 2010 at 8:50 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments
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I enjoy Facebook. Since my bloggier half dragged me kicking and screaming into the 21st century, I’ve reconnected with friends from high school and found an easy way to stay in touch with my family all over the country. And I can stalk everyone I’ve ever met keep up with what’s going on in my friends’ exciting lives.

And that’s why I was kind of aggravated when one of my Facebook friends posted that she was thinking of deleting all of her friends who never comment on her status. She said she hates that people are checking up on what she’s doing without ever contributing to the conversation. Um, hello? Isn’t that the point of Facebook?

Who wants to actually interact with their friends and family? Picking up the phone requires a two-way conversation. Maybe I don’t want to actually hear your voice. Maybe I don’t want to tell you all about my latest news. Maybe I’m just not that in to you. And sending an email? Like using the phone, that requires me to make some sort of effort to stay connected with you. And it suggests some level of give and take. Let’s be honest here. I’m a lazy friend. Facebook decides for me what I need to know. Pics of your new baby or remodeled kitchen? Jamming out to Bon Jovi tonight? Heading to bed? Don’t worry, you don’t have to do a thing, either. Just post it on Facebook and the Interwebs will take care of the rest.

But maybe my friend is right. Maybe we don’t need Facestalkers in our life. And maybe if we want to know what’s going on, we should actually get off our duffs and have an actual conversation. Reader(s), what’s your take? Should you only stay Facefriends with people who bother to engage with you via that medium?

~April

Birthday Shout-Out: Momma G!

July 23, 2010 at 10:04 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments
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My mom is kind of a big deal. There, I said it. I’m a little obsessed, and I’m not the only one! In addition to a doting husband and two kids who couldn’t be prouder of her, more Facebook friends than most people I know, and an inestimable number of folks dedicated to finding a cure for multiple sclerosis (not to mention a few celebs that she’s too modest to mention), my mom finds admirers everywhere, even in the produce aisle!

What’s my excuse for this particular flood of admiration? Well, today is my dear mom’s birthday and if anyone deserves a shout-out, she does!

Happy Birthday, mom! You are my inspiration!

Love,
Sarah

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