Goodbye, Batphone!

January 31, 2012 at 12:03 pm | Posted in Misc., Office Humor | 4 Comments
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I work at a technology company and pride myself on my technological prowess (well, maybe “prowess” is too strong, but I’m savvy, at least!).  And yet, for years I have been carrying around an old, clunky cell phone in addition to my smartphone.  Witness:

I admit it looks really silly to have both a sleek, modern phone and a circa 2002 clunker.  But it was all because of my parents (also known as “Sarah’s Mo” and “RWFOTB”)!!

Well, that’s not exactly true… what is true is that the ancient cell phone was like the Batphone to me.  My folks were pretty much the only ones who called it, so it was like their exclusive way to reach me (not to mention a local number for them).  It was my tie to my younger years, my link to a simpler time when phones just rang – no games, no interwebs, no email, just good old-fashioned talking (and a small amount of texting). It is also the most reliable piece of technology I’ve ever owned.  After 10 years, it still works like a charm (and has better reception than my droid, just saying).

But it also made me feel foolish.  Why waste money on a second cell phone, especially one that’s so outdated it’s almost cool again (give it another 20 years and it’ll be a collector’s item; until then it will live in my basement)?  And why carry that thing around and look like I’m the kind of person who still calls it the “world wide web” or the “information superhighway” when I’m really a super hip technology geek?

The answer is clear: it’s time to say goodbye to my soon-to-be-vintage flip phone.  It has been decommissioned, made redundant and disconnected.  I am now a one phone gal.  And I imagine this is kind of what Bruce Wayne felt like when he finally hung up the Batsuit.

I feel ya, Batman!

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Goal: A Halfway Decent Bride

April 22, 2010 at 9:19 am | Posted in Married Life | 12 Comments
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Sarah is a sub-par bride. She’s lazy, clueless and just doesn’t seem to care. Or at least that’s what I learned from the interwebs this week.

You see, I was doing some research on the goggle about frugal-chic wedding centerpieces for her. And I found some great ideas. But Sarah is apparently too far behind the proverbial ball to make it work. She hasn’t been growing her own flowers and/or fruits and vegetables to decorate the reception tables. She doesn’t even have a yard in which to grow said nonexistent vegetation! She only has a container garden. A CONTAINER GARDEN! It is embarrassing.

Image from Twirl Boutique's blog...

When I queried her on the location of her bridal garden, she looked at me as if I were a three-headed dog person speaking Martian. She was completely unaware of the necessity of growing your own bouquets and centerpieces. It’s like she’s trying to fail at being a bride.

So I’ve taken it upon myself to discover what other preparations she must undertake in order to be a halfway decent bride. Because with a bridal garden out of the question, let’s face it, halfway decent is about as good as she can get. But I pretty much eloped, so I only know what the interwebs tell me.

It’s hard out there for a lackluster bride and an inexperienced bride boss-around-er. So I ask you, dear reader(s), what must our lovely Sarah be doing in order to be a real bride?

And how does one go about picking a DJ, anyway?

~April

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