A Blogger Walks Into a Bar…

July 21, 2011 at 10:55 am | Posted in Around Boston, Office Humor | 7 Comments
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Yesterday I (half-jokingly) used one of the tackiest pick-up lines ever on my colleagues.  After a particularly stressful morning at Dark Water Fowl (aka our office), I returned to my desk to find a yumlicious Dunkin’ iced tea with lemon waiting for me.  To thank them for brightening my day, I may have posted an inappropriate message on facespace… something to the effect of heaven missing two angels since they were slummin’ it with me on Earth…

Oh Ralph Wiggum, be still my heart! I choo-choo-choose you, too!

We discussed (cough cough used cough cough) some of the zaniest pick-up lines we’d ever heard (and yes, I did tell them that if they were on the menu at the golden arches they’d be listed as the McGorgeous).

And then it occurred to me: I may be biased, but Factinis & Factomelettes readers are some of the most beautiful, social, in-demand people on this orbiting rock we call home, and I bet you all have some priceless lines to share!

So spill it, dear reader(s)!!  What are the funniest, most awkward, worst and kookiest pick-up lines someone has ever tried on you?

(Or, in some cases, that you’ve tried on someone else).

~ Sarah

The Great McNugget Hunt of 2011

February 1, 2011 at 11:19 am | Posted in Around Boston, Married Life | 6 Comments
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Andrew and I have slowed down in our old age. We like to eat dinner at a reasonable hour, go to bed early, and get to the grocery store on Sunday mornings before it turns into a mob scene. But every now and then we break out of our quiet, calm existence to hang out with the young guns (either at heart or actual age). Two weekends ago was one of those times.

We made our way to a friend’s birthday party in the little big city (aka Cambridge) at 8pm (when the revelry was set to begin) and were, of course, the really cool kids who were the first to arrive at her apartment. Really cool. The plan was to hang out at her place for some adult beverages (a funny term, if you ask me – the more adult I become the less interest I have in said drinks.  My 22 year old self would hardly recognize me now) and snacks, and then when they were ready to hit the town, we would be ready to drive back to the ‘burbs and hit the hay.

All was going according to plan for a while. We had a great time with the kiddies (okay, they were only a couple years younger, but sometimes I feel like I’m in my 80s!) and around midnight when they were ready to go dancing, Andrew and I had just enough energy left in us to drive home. But when we made it to the highway, Andrew had an old school craving: he wanted a midnight snack from the golden arches.

Even seeing them dressed up like weirdos doesn't deter me from craving McNuggets!


Luckily there was a 24 hour Mickey D’s a few exits from our house, but we soon learned this stroke of brilliance had struck others as well. The drive-through line literally circled around the parking lot and into the street. In his infinite patience (haha), Andrew convinced me to seek out an alternate McDonald’s. Surely if one is open, others would be open and less crowded. So we drove to North Reading, and to Reading, only to find them all closed. We drove to Woburn and Tewksbury – same situation. We passed open “BK Lounges” (yes, we have nicknames for fast food joints. What of it?), and even a Sonic ready to serve, but at 12:45 when you’ve got a craving for those crispy white meat (so they claim) nuggets, substitutions just seem cruel.

My alertness and patience were beginning to wane, but the hope in Andrew’s eyes spurred me on and we kept hunting for those gilded arches. Around 1:30 when I could stand it no more, I pulled into a BK where we could have it our way (except if you ask for McD’s nuggets – they won’t do it your way in that case) and implored him to give whoppers a chance.

But it just wasn’t the same.


P.S. If you’re related to me and wondering why I would be eating fast food so close to when I have to squeeze into a bridesmaid’s dress and not ruin my brother’s wedding pictures by being the bovine gal in the wedding party, I say stop judging me.  You can’t prove that I ate anything!

In The Mood For Romance… And McNuggets

September 1, 2010 at 7:51 am | Posted in Around Boston | 5 Comments
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Early in my pregnancy with Max, my bloggier half and I had a date at McDonald’s. One of us was having a craving. We got nuggets, fries and milkshakes. It was amazing. Best date ever. Almost. The only one that rivals that date was my first Valentine’s Day with the hubs. We also went to McD’s. And we shared a bounty of nuggets.  But we got cokes instead of shakes. We’re classy like that.

Sarah and I have hit up the golden arches together probably more times than we really should have. But I just can’t resist those salty, golden fries. Or the fountain cokes. McDonald’s and Friendly’s do have the best fountain cokes around. Those two establishments have perfected the ratio of syrup to carbonation for the most delicious effect. And when you’re stuck at North Station waiting for the 10:40 p.m. train on an empty stomach, how can you resist the siren song of Ronald McDonald? No, seriously. How can you do that?

Hoodles, Sarah and I were recently reminiscing about that first date, and we decided we’re going to recreate it using the wonders of technology (and Skype). Provided McD’s offers free WiFi. Yeah, we miss each other.

Dear Reader(s), what are some of your fave friend-date locales? As a soon-to-be bride and an expectant mom, we should probably find an alternative to our nuggets-fries-shakes fix.


PS Happy St. Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2010 at 12:14 pm | Posted in In The Kitchen | 8 Comments
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I adore McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes. But I know the shake is a nutritional nightmare. Big props to Schmargaret for finding me a much healthier substitute, Hungry Girl’s Shamrock ‘n’ Roll Shake. Looks delish!


Even the Undead are Lovin It

November 13, 2009 at 11:18 am | Posted in Around Boston | 2 Comments
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I had a frightening experience at the Golden Arches. While chatting with a couple of my girlfriends, I looked up and locked eyes with a terrifying stranger with bright red eyes. I kid you not. It was like looking at a photograph that had not been scrubbed for red-eye exposure. Except he was eating a #10 value meal (10pc chicken nuggets and fries, as if you didn’t know).

Sarah tried to convince me he was just wearing colored contacts, but I know better. I’ve seen Lost Boys and Interview with a Vampire. And I’ve read the entire Twilight Series (Edward Cullen! Dreamy!). I know what we are up against, dear reader(s).

And vampires love Mickey D’s french fries. And who can blame them? If I were undead, I’d be dipping those salty, crispy shoestring fries in blood all night long.


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