Netflix Thinks We’re Deranged

January 20, 2011 at 9:10 am | Posted in Married Life | 8 Comments
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The other day I decided to add a few flicks to Andrew’s our (what’s yours is mine – yay marriage!) Netflix queue when I made a startling discovery: Netflix thinks we’re deranged.

After adding a few reputedly delightful foreign flicks to the list (Micmacs, I have high hopes for you – don’t let me down!) I checked out what Netflix recommends based on our preferences.

It wasn’t pretty… A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, Kalifornia. Netflix even created movie categories for us (e.g. Gritty Revenge Thrillers).

Bill Ross' illustration looks like our living room on a Sunday night!

If the FBI profiled people based on Netflix queues, my harmless hubs and I would be on some sort of “watch list!”

You may say: “Netflix generates its recommendations based on an algorithm that uses your previous selections and ratings and other people’s queues that have demonstrated similar tastes.”

Well, that may be the case, but I’m still gonna cry foul to protect my reputation!  And shame on you for your smug retort to my distressing situation.  

For every bizarre movie Andrew is sucked in to watching (think of them like car accidents – he just can’t avert his gaze once he knows about them), we probably have ten rom-coms. For every Human Centipede we have at least a Toy Story 3, The Other Guys and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.  For every Splice we have SATC 2 (yes, we heard it was awful – that’s why we waited for it to be released on video!), Penelope and Little Fockers.

Frankly, I think it’s time Andrew surrendered control of the queue to yours truly. 

Can I get an amen?


Movie Delivery Fail

March 4, 2010 at 9:34 am | Posted in Misc. | 7 Comments
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Andrew and I love cuddling up on the couch to watch movies together and, thanks to a little service you may have heard of that Rhymes-With-Jet-Clicks, we do so about three times a week. But sometimes Rhymes-With-Jet-Clicks and the USPS conspire against us… For example, one night we had three movies waiting for us:

These arrived in the same shipment! Movie related to the number 9, anyone?

Yes, that is District 9, 9, and another copy of District 9. Can you hear me banging my head against the wall?

You see, the first copy of District 9 (alien sci-fi thriller in cinema verite-style) was supposed to be at our house nearly two weeks ago, but it never arrived. We reported it missing so they sent us a second copy (thank you!). Miraculously both copies arrived on the same day… with 9 (post apocalyptic robot v. machine world co-produced by creep-master Tim Burton). Now, if only Nine (Daniel Day-Lewis as movie director, adulterer and singer) were also out on video, we could have had a week of nines!

By the way, what’s with all the nines??? Hollywood, please explain yourself!


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