Rich People Problems

July 9, 2013 at 11:37 am | Posted in Family, Married Life | Leave a comment
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The other day the hubs and I were bickering about household chores – he feels like he does the lion’s share and that I spend more time reading baseball blogs than helping.  I feel like he needs to relax every once in a while and understand that our house will never be as clean or tidy as he imagines it should be.

Okay, okay, it was the opposite, but sometimes it’s refreshing to pretend it’s the gal who puts sports over washing bottles.  Annnywho, in one of my dramatic retorts, I said something like:

“Fine, I’ll just get the maid to do it!  But you never help plan menus with the chef, the gardener is still waiting to hear exactly how many millimeters you’d like him to hand trim off the lawn, and the chauffeur has really been slacking on polishing the dipstick handle.  Can you get off your lazy butt and order people around for a change?  Or do I have to manage the staff alone as usual?”

I think my golden throne (haha) needs polishing!  Where's the bathroom maid?!?

I think my golden throne (haha) needs polishing! Where’s the bathroom maid?!?

It was enough to break the tension between us, but that got me thinking: is that how fights between the uber rich actually sound?  What do the gajillionaire couples of the world squabble about?  Because I’ll bet it’s not dishes, laundry, or which bill to pay first and which to postpone.

I think an experiment is in order.  Here’s what I propose: give me a few gajillion dollars (one of you can give me a lump sum or take up a collection or something; how you make this happen isn’t the important part – don’t be penny wise and gajillion foolish).  I’ll move into a mansion, hire a full-fledged staff (first hire: a personal assistant and then a household manager who will actually hire the rest of the staff for me – that’s not something a gajillionaire like me should have to concern herself with), and report back.  I promise to answer this, and any other questions you have about how the upper crust lives.  We’ll all be the wiser!

You can’t put a price on knowledge like that.  But do try.


April’s Ruining it for Womankind…

August 31, 2010 at 7:45 am | Posted in Pregnancy Fun Time | 7 Comments
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I feel the need to preface this post by reassuring you, our dear reader(s), that I simply adore April. I know how sad kids feel when their parents fight, so I want to be clear that we love each other very much and we are not getting a friend-divorce. With that said, I think she is being a little selfish.   

April does all this while pregnant! ...Overachiever...


You see, April is an amazing pregnant woman. She is the epitome of what 1950s etiquette books imply is perfect behavior for married women who are “with child.”   

At seven months pregnant, April still functions like a normal person. She chases after her son all day, does the grocery shopping and cooking, cleans everything but the cat’s litter box (which she isn’t allowed to do). She isn’t confined to bed rest. She rarely succumbs to emotional outbursts (at least not any more than usual). She doesn’t even have cravings or eat everything in sight!   

And that’s great. For her. And even greater for her hubs. But what about the rest of us?   

I don’t know about you, but I was hoping that whenever I actually became pregnant (and no, we aren’t trying yet!), it would provide an excuse for me to ease up a little activity-wise, get some extra help around the house, and dictate meal choices and random snacks at all times of the day and night. But now that Andrew has seen April as a pregnant superwoman, I know convincing him of my desperate need for kumquats and a foot massage at 3 a.m. is going to be even more difficult than I anticipated.    

April: for the love of womankind, can you please be a little more needy and irrational?   


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