‘Tis the Season

November 23, 2010 at 4:03 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments
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Well, dear reader(s), here we go again…

It’s time for me to make my second ever xmas list and once again, I find myself woefully unprepared.  I could blame my cultural heritage for my inability to make a kickin’ Christmas gift list, but even I admit that’s a little far-fetched: I mean, a gal who grew up with eight crazy nights of (mostly reasonable) presents shouldn’t have trouble making a Most Wanted List for one day of excessive giving.  But alas, I’m drawing a blank, and seem to be foiled at every turn.


I better be on that list, Santa! I'm a Heb but I've been very nice this year!

Normally I would be able to turn to my partner-in-crime for assistance, but she has her hands full with a brand new little nugget, and apparently my list is not her top priority. I can’t imagine why.


And, you may not know this since I’ve kept it pretty hush-hush, but I recently got married (surprise!) and was lucky enough to receive almost everything on my registry, so I’m certainly not hurtin’ for tchotchkes. No home goods needed for this gal.

Even though Andrew’s family has known me for more years than I have fingers on one hand, I still don’t think they’d be jazzed to contribute to my As Seen on TV addiction by getting me something ridiculous like the Better Marriage Blanket, and you know I’m not down with bizarre Elf on the Shelf nonsense, so crazy/silly gifts are out of the question, too.

I’ve already been offered bizarre and probably illegal gifts from a certain Mr. Vlad Bad, so that’s out, and it seems that somewhere along the line I grew up and don’t clamor for the hottest toy any more. In fact, I don’t even know what the hottest toy IS this year!

So I’m turning to you, dear reader(s): can you help me make my list?

Desperately Seeking Gifts,


Is That Why They Call It “Silent… but Deadly?”

October 18, 2010 at 1:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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Sometimes I don’t believe it until I Google it… And sometimes I’m still tempted not to believe it even after “the goggle” tells me it’s true! For example, this weekend Rhymes-with-Tinny revealed that she and Rhymes-with-Hat-Trick were very tempted to give us something other than the oh-so-appropriate wedding gift they purchased. When I inquired about what the alternative was, she could barely keep a straight face when she replied: The Better Marriage Blanket.

You owe it to your marriage...

What, you may ask, is The Better Marriage Blanket? Well, I didn’t know either, until she explained it to me using the company’s tagline: The blanket “eliminates the odor of flatulence in bed!”

Apparently some people’s mates have such tremendously malodorous gaseous emissions that this company stuffed a blanket with “activated carbon fabric – the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons” to help absorb “flatulence molecules” (yes, that’s the technical term they’re using).

I couldn’t make this up! And neither did Rhymes-with-Tinny! Here’s the official marketing video!
(The embed code has been disabled, but if you click on the link you’ll get to see the “stunning” video for yourself – and trust me, it is worth it!)

And you know what? I almost wish they had opted for this little gem… just so I could say I own The Better Marriage Blanket!


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