Goal: A Halfway Decent Bride

April 22, 2010 at 9:19 am | Posted in Married Life | 12 Comments
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Sarah is a sub-par bride. She’s lazy, clueless and just doesn’t seem to care. Or at least that’s what I learned from the interwebs this week.

You see, I was doing some research on the goggle about frugal-chic wedding centerpieces for her. And I found some great ideas. But Sarah is apparently too far behind the proverbial ball to make it work. She hasn’t been growing her own flowers and/or fruits and vegetables to decorate the reception tables. She doesn’t even have a yard in which to grow said nonexistent vegetation! She only has a container garden. A CONTAINER GARDEN! It is embarrassing.

Image from Twirl Boutique's blog...

When I queried her on the location of her bridal garden, she looked at me as if I were a three-headed dog person speaking Martian. She was completely unaware of the necessity of growing your own bouquets and centerpieces. It’s like she’s trying to fail at being a bride.

So I’ve taken it upon myself to discover what other preparations she must undertake in order to be a halfway decent bride. Because with a bridal garden out of the question, let’s face it, halfway decent is about as good as she can get. But I pretty much eloped, so I only know what the interwebs tell me.

It’s hard out there for a lackluster bride and an inexperienced bride boss-around-er. So I ask you, dear reader(s), what must our lovely Sarah be doing in order to be a real bride?

And how does one go about picking a DJ, anyway?



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