Is That Why They Call It “Silent… but Deadly?”

October 18, 2010 at 1:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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Sometimes I don’t believe it until I Google it… And sometimes I’m still tempted not to believe it even after “the goggle” tells me it’s true! For example, this weekend Rhymes-with-Tinny revealed that she and Rhymes-with-Hat-Trick were very tempted to give us something other than the oh-so-appropriate wedding gift they purchased. When I inquired about what the alternative was, she could barely keep a straight face when she replied: The Better Marriage Blanket.

You owe it to your marriage...

What, you may ask, is The Better Marriage Blanket? Well, I didn’t know either, until she explained it to me using the company’s tagline: The blanket “eliminates the odor of flatulence in bed!”

Apparently some people’s mates have such tremendously malodorous gaseous emissions that this company stuffed a blanket with “activated carbon fabric – the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons” to help absorb “flatulence molecules” (yes, that’s the technical term they’re using).

I couldn’t make this up! And neither did Rhymes-with-Tinny! Here’s the official marketing video!
(The embed code has been disabled, but if you click on the link you’ll get to see the “stunning” video for yourself – and trust me, it is worth it!)

And you know what? I almost wish they had opted for this little gem… just so I could say I own The Better Marriage Blanket!

~Sarah

Wedding Q&A

October 14, 2010 at 8:12 am | Posted in Married Life | 11 Comments
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Thank you all for your support and advice over the past few months. You, dear reader(s), helped calm my nerves and gave me the practical advice that helped make our wedding day such a memorable, fun, stress-free one! Today I will use this platform to answer your questions about 10/10/10 – and if I missed any, feel free to ask.

 

Are you planning to take Andrew’s name or will you keep the Wilderrol surname?

I have decided to legally change my name, so I will become Mrs. L-ski (whenever I get around to making the switch), but I won’t be offended if you wish to continue using my “maiden” name.

I heard a rumor that you wore tacky red sneakers to your own wedding. Is that true?

No. I wore these sophisticated beauties during the ceremony:

Stylin' Weddin' Shoes

And these adorable red tennies during the reception:

Comfy and coordinated!

They match the color scheme – ergo the sneaks weren’t tacky. 

Did Andrew follow-through on his threat to put cake on your face?

Open wide... airplane is coming in for a landing!

Nope, happily he respected my wishes… and/or did a quick little calculation about the amount of alone time we would have that night (since the Yankees swept, we had NO distractions – except for the hour it took to take my hair down) and figured it would be best if I wasn’t feeling harpy-tastic and ready exact revenge for the rest of our days. He politely fed me a dollop of icing…after he made it swoop around like an “airplane” (say aaah) toward my mouth. 

What did you two end up giving each other as wedding day gifts?

We managed to find each other superb gifts to exchange on our big day, if we do say so ourselves! Since we aren’t taking our honeymoon until next spring, Andrew gifted me a “mini-moon” so we could enjoy a weekend away together this fall. I gave him cuff links made from baseballs used in a Yankees game so he could walk down the aisle with a little pinstripe-pizzazz in his step – and they even matched our decor!

Did nature cooperate?

Yes! In fact, not only did Momma N. cooperate by providing gorgeous weather and stunning foliage, but apparently she also endorsed our union and sent a cute little chipmunk messenger to witness our ceremony and stand at the chuppah with us! Did anyone get a photo of the unexpected wedding guest? If so, please share it!

You had some anxiety about wearing a poufy white dress – was it more fun than you anticipated?

Taking a Mulligan on bustling my wedding gown...

Yes! I loved my dress and it was not even close to being the taffeta-torture I once envisioned. I only had two issues with it:

1) I needed a chaperone to use the loo! Mid-way through the day I could hold it no longer, but I couldn’t find my mom or my ‘maids! What was a bride to do? Grab my best neighbor, Rhymes-With-Tinny, and high-tail it to the bridal suite where we took our relationship to a more intimate level. Frankly, I only dared venture to the WC once because it was such a production!

2) A minor wardrobe malfunction about 2/3 of the way through the day included part of my dress un-bustling (de-bustling?). Luckily my stylists were there to help and we re-bustled it right in the middle of the reception.

It was a magical day and a perfect way to begin the next stage in our relationship! Thanks, everyone!

~ Mrs. L-ski

Another Wedding To Do?

September 2, 2010 at 8:24 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 34 Comments
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Dear reader(s), I hope you aren’t getting too tired of hearing about my bridal ineptitude. I promise this will all be over in about a month and a half. And thank goodness for that – I’m getting tired of being a lousy bride, and I’m ready to move on to being lousy at something else!

Any ideas?

Hoodles, yesterday afternoon I was kindly reminded (if you can call someone emailing “Earth to Sarah” kind… though admittedly, I do appreciate the Zoolander reference) of the tradition dictating that Andrew and I give each other gifts on our wedding day.

Isn’t getting hitched and getting those gorgeous (and sparkly) wedding bands gift enough? Apparently not.

It seems that amid all the wedding planning chaos, we are supposed to give each other something “special” and “meaningful” that we can pass down to our future offspring. Talk about pressure! 

I’ve heard all manner of gifts can be appropriate: fine jewelry, surfboards, personalized hankies, first edition autographed tomes, money clips, golf clubs, cuff links, love letters, property deeds, picture frames, etc.  But none of these ideas has really lit our fires, so I’m turning to you, dear reader(s)…

What do you recommend I give Andrew?

And what do you recommend he give to me?

Yours in cluelessness and too many to dos,

Sarah

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